


Can't Erase You

by Kh530



Series: Still Descending, Never Ending [2]
Category: Green Creek Series - T.J. Klune
Genre: Families of Choice, Family Feels, Multi, Other, Platonic Relationships, Platonic mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:35:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22824190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kh530/pseuds/Kh530
Summary: A collection of scenes for Heartsong, regarding the addition of original character, Maren Bennett.This is a continuation from the Ravensong scene collection, but you do not need to have read the previous work to understand this one--although I would suggest having read the actual Heartsong book!Maren Bennett navigates having the man they called their son back in Green Creek while dealing with strained pack bonds with their twin and nephew, and having (a pretty great) platonic mate when all they'd rather do is honestly just write some music and sleep.
Relationships: Kelly Bennett/Robbie Fontaine, Mark Bennett & Original Non-Binary Character, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Tanner Reeves & Original Non-Binary Character
Series: Still Descending, Never Ending [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1602598
Comments: 8
Kudos: 5





	1. Heartsong:Post Chapter Gunmetal Sky/Never Forget to Pack pages 80 to 116

**Author's Note:**

> I've felt a lot of love since I've talked more about Maren and I just want to say, thank you so much to everyone who has just been really fucking nice to me. Hugest of shoutouts and love to the Green Creek OC Discord especially. Y'all are the best. Special love and shoutout to my lovely betas, Sarah and Gigi, for who I could not survive without (and honestly, Maren couldn't either). 
> 
> Each scene varies in length and point of view. The scene placement is stated as the chapter title corresponding with the respective chapter and page of Heartsong according to the physical release. This work will *only* include Heartsong scenes, with scenes for other books (and events outside of the books) taking place in other works. Scenes will be uploaded in order of how they would appear in the book (with limited exceptions). Bold type words indicate TJ's words, *not my own words*. They are just here to clarify what's happening in each scene. 
> 
> Thank you for being interesting in reading about Maren, who makes me laugh and cry and every other emotion in between. I hope you enjoy!

[Maren POV, Post Chapter Gunmetal Sky/Never Forget]

The last thing that Maren Bennett expected on a relatively calm Saturday afternoon was their oldest nephew barging into their studio. He burst in like a bat out of hell, the timber wolf right at his heels, pulling Maren's focus from their work. They had been working on a new composition for their client's–or music partner, maybe even friend’s–new song. Maren didn’t really know what to call the kid, even though he kept insisting he was their friend, though Maren didn’t understand why he’d _want_ to be their friend. 

But they were probably music partners at the very least. The kid—Hal, his name was _Hal, not kid, stop calling me a kid, Mar. I have a name and I’m not that young_ —Hal wrote the lyrics and Maren wrote the instrumentals. That was how their partnership worked and quite frankly, it worked well enough for Maren. Each of them played to their strengths and they had turned out some great music in the years since their meeting. Plus, Hal was a good singer, even if Maren enjoyed giving the kid— _Hal, you’re only a few years older than my oldest nephew. That makes you a kid in my book_ —shit. 

So it was unexpected to have Carter and his mate—even though he didn’t realize it yet—burst in through the door, the timber wolf almost taking the door off its hinges. 

“Seriously, Carter? I’ve told you, no wolves in my studio. Because if he breaks something in here I’m coming for _both_ your heads.” Maren rolled their eyes at their nephew and the timber wolf growled in response. 

Maren and Carter both ignored him. They had gotten good at that by now. Most of the pack had learned over the past year and a half that the timber wolf was more bark than bite and it was easier to just ignore him when he was being defensive, 90% of the time over Carter. 

“Okay, I know. I’m sorry,” Carter said, not sounding apologetic in the slightest. Maren resisted the urge to tap him upside the head. “But it’s _important_.”

Maren sighed. “You walking in on Mark and Gordo making out again is not important and I don’t get why you feel the urge to tell me every time. I am not responsible for your terrible timing.” 

Carter turned scarlet. “It’s not that! It’s about Robbie!”

Maren’s blood turned to ice at the sound of their son’s name. Their son who had attacked Chris and Tanner. Who had killed an Omega and Chris. Who had nearly killed Tanner, Maren’s mate. Who had fled after, remaining missing for months, until they’d found out that he was in Maine. That Robbie had returned to Michelle Hughes in Caswell, Maine. 

Maren could still feel Tanner’s blood on their hands as he lay dying in their arms, the sound of his heartbeat slowing, as much as they tried not to think about it. But they tended to feel it, to remember it, at the worst moments— like right now. Blue and violet and indigo fell over Maren like a curtain, like a waterfall that would wash them away in its current. 

In the early months, the first year that Robbie was gone, Maren had felt nothing but blue, blue, blue, all on top of their usual, ever-present blue. But... learning that Robbie was in _Maine_ . That he had returned to _Michelle_. The thought that Joe and Rico had likely been right about Robbie betraying them? That had burned. That had turned that blue into a violet which usually settled as a solid indigo. 

“Shit. Fuck,” Carter said and the timber wolf at his side let out a low growl, his fur bristling. It was harder for Carter to feel Maren through the bonds of pack; he was an Omega and the bonds of pack were so damaged between them – something that made Maren’s eyes _burn_ every time they thought about it, every time they tried to reach out to him and it just felt _wrong_ –but Carter Bennett wasn’t stupid. He could tell that Maren was hurting and that he had caused that hurt. “I was planning on saying that like more tactfully, I swear.” 

Maren closed their eyes, letting out a slow deep breath as they pictured a shield going over their mind. Just because Maren’s emotions were a mess, that didn’t mean the rest of the pack had to feel it as well. This was Maren’s problem, not the entire pack’s. Maren was grateful to be as good at shielding as they were. As they opened their eyes, they saw Carter frowning at them.

Robert Livingstone was a bastard. And Maren would kill him if they ever got their hands on him. He had taken the only thing that had always felt right–their bond with Mark. But it would be a lie to say they weren’t grateful for what he had taught them all those many years ago. 

“What about Robbie?” Maren asked, their son’s name thick in their throat. Their face was blank as their mind raced, violets and blues and indigos ran through their heart like bullets. They closed their eyes again, controlling their breathing. 

“We know where Robbie is,” Carter said and a rush of annoyance ran through Maren and they opened their eyes, giving the blond in front of them a withering look. 

“We always knew where Robbie was, Carter,” Maren growled at their nephew. The timber wolf growled back to them and Maren resisted the urge to snap at him as well. “If you really came here to remind me that I swear to the gods—“

“No, no I meant—“ 

A hand was clasped on Carter’s shoulder and the blond froze. 

“Carter, I know you mean well, but stop talking before Maren throws you out a window and I let them.” 

Gordo Livingstone appeared behind Maren’s nephew, his only hand stretched up to Carter’s shoulder. 

The timber wolf growled at Gordo, baring his teeth at him. Carter smacked him on the nose. 

“Cut it out! We’ve talked about this,” Carter said to the large wolf before turning to his father’s sibling. Carter looked apologetic as he frowned, that sad puppy dog look that he and Kelly used so well, and Maren felt their annoyance towards him begin to dissipate. “Sorry, Mar. I just—“

“Carter, you’re fine,” Maren interrupted him before centering their attention on Gordo. They knew Carter didn’t mean any harm, but they didn’t have the energy to dote on him right now. “What’s going on, Gordo?”

Gordo sighed as he leaned against the wall. “Shannon Wells called.” 

Maren was confused. Shannon Wells was an Alpha—an extremely young Alpha—who lived in Virginia. Maren had been out there a few months ago with Gordo and Mark to ward their silo as a safe place for Brodie, a young boy in their pack who had become affected by the same infection that plagued Mark and Carter, turning him into an Omega. 

Shannon was a strong young woman who, despite her lack of experience, was a good Alpha. The Wells pack were good people. But what did they have to do with Robbie Fontaine, who was in Maine?

Gordo must have seen the confusion on Maren’s face, or maybe he felt it through the bonds of pack. 

“Robbie was there about a week ago—“

“In _Virginia_?” Maren asked, their voice a pitch higher than usual as they questioned their brother’s mate. “But Michelle hasn’t let him out of her sight as far as we know.”

“No shit,” Gordo said, and Maren saw his fingers twitch as he fingered through his pocket, sighing as he felt for the box of cigarettes that weren’t there. Maren again wondered how Mark had won that battle. “Shannon gave him her number. And he called it earlier today.”

Maren’s heart skipped a beat. “What did he say?”

Gordo and Carter looked at each other and Maren shot them both a dirty look, wondering why they hadn’t been included in the initial conversation that had inevitably happened. 

“What did Robbie _say_ , Gordo?” Maren repeated, raising their voice ever so slightly. Maren knew their voice sounded cold, but that was the point. 

“That’s the weird thing,” Carter said slowly. “He didn’t remember going to Virginia. He didn’t remember Shannon or her pack.“

It was as if ice had been injected straight into Maren’s bloodstream. “Are you saying—"

“There’s a chance, a good chance, that someone’s been manipulating his memories,” Gordo finished. His expression was blank and Maren reached out to know what he was feeling. But they felt nothing, Gordo was closed up tight. Maren wasn’t the only member of the Bennett pack who was good at shielding. 

As for Maren, their confusion only grew. Did that mean—Was it possible that Michelle, fucking Michelle, and her witches had gotten their hands on Robbie? Was that why he’d— 

Maren closed their eyes, leaning their head against their desk. Everything was too much. All Maren wanted was everything to go back to normal—although what that was, Maren didn’t even know anymore. Instinctively, Maren reached out for Mark—but they only felt tatters of the bond that once kept them grounded, like shards of glass that cut at them, making their skin crawl. It had been nearly two years since the bond between the twins had been ravaged by the infection that had turned Mark into an Omega, but that didn’t make the pain hurt any less. 

Gordo’s arms were around them within the next few heartbeats and Maren leaned into him, breathing in his scent. Gordo wasn’t Mark, but when Gordo was around, when they could feel the bond with Gordo, their brother’s mate, Maren felt just a bit grounded, a bit more connected to their twin. 

Maren felt a head on top of theirs and a wolf brushed against their side and Maren wished, wished with all their heart that Carter (and the timber wolf too, he was pack too) could feel the extent of the relief that the three of them brought to them. Maren knew that Carter knew how much they loved him. But more than anything they wished he could feel it the same way he used to be able too. 

Maren let out a deep sigh, lifting their head to wipe the tears that had fallen down their cheeks. 

“What are we going to do now?” Maren asked no one in particular. 

“We’re bringing him home,” Kelly Bennett said from the doorway, waves of green coming off the young man for the first time in nearly a year and a half, his expression determined. 

And oh how Maren’s heart _sang_.

* * *

[Tanner POV, Pre Chapter Pack]

Tanner had his duffel bag slung over his shoulder, ready to throw it in the car, when he followed the scent of paper and cinnamon mixed together in a storm. 

He found his mate sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at the card that was in their hand.

It was a greeting card, but it wasn’t any normal greeting card. It was the card that Robbie had made using some program on the computer for Father’s Day. Tanner was better with computers than say, Gordo, but that didn’t mean he knew shit about programs he didn’t use. Robbie had given it to Maren the last Father’s Day before he went missing—well, Tanner guessed that ‘ taken’ was probably a better way to phrase what had happened to his friend now. The card read “Happy Parent’s Day” and Tanner remembered how much that card had meant to Maren, how genuinely happy they had been. Tanner didn’t think he’d seen Maren that happy since before the bonds with Mark and Carter had been damaged. Hell, maybe before then. 

More than anything Tanner wished he, Maren, the entire pack really, could return to those simpler, happier times. It would sure as hell make things easier. Through the bonds of pack, Tanner tried to reach out to Maren but was hit with a surprisingly solid wall. Maren was shielding again, protecting the pack from their overwhelming emotions, even at times when they were at their worst. Jesus Christ, Jessie was right (although he’d probably never say it to her face because she and Chris would never let him hear the end of it), this pack really was full of god damn martyrs. 

But pack bonds weren’t the only bonds Maren and Tanner shared. So he focused on the bite mark on his wrist that constantly pulsated and his eyes widened as he felt the intensity of Maren’s blue, nothing but blue, not even a bit of indigo or violet or green (as he’d foolishly hoped to feel) coming from them.

Carefully, gently, he wrapped his arms around Maren’s shoulders, and they were startled, flinching slightly. They moved the chair back an inch, looking like they were about to move away before they sniffed the air. They looked at the arms wrapped around them, a bite mark on one wrist and a paw print tattoo on the other, and Maren sighed deeply, a rich curtain of green falling over them. Not enough to cover the intensity of the blue, never enough, but enough to lessen the pain in Maren’s heart and mind. 

“I haven’t seen that in a while,” Tanner said, gesturing at the card from Robbie. 

After he’d gone ’missing’, that card had been a mainstay for Maren. Not enough to be a tether for them since Robbie was gone. But it had helped before Maren and Tanner had gotten their shit together and accepted that they were platonic mates, becoming each other’s tethers. 

Maren hmmmed at him and he felt a wave of blue wash over them, almost seeming at war with the green that he had brought to them. There was a sour scent of shame in the air as Maren pressed themselves against Tanner’s left arm, head against the paw print tattoo. 

“I gave up on him, Tanner,” Maren said and Tanner could almost taste the guilt coming off the older wolf.

“You didn’t–” Tanner tried, but Maren just shook their head at him, staring down at the card still held in their hand. 

“I did,” Maren said, their voice rough and judgmental, judgmental of _themself_ . “I tried not to, but I did. I found out he was in Maine and I just… stopped. I stopped helping Kelly and Ox and Gordo. Because I gave up on Robbie. I gave up on _my son_ , Tanner.”

He was silent for a moment as he gripped Maren tighter in his arms. He didn’t know the right thing to say because there honestly wasn’t a right thing to say. What had happened, happened, and they couldn’t go back and change anything, no matter how much they wanted to.

“You did the best you could,” Tanner said finally. “You – we didn’t know the truth. We still don’t know the whole truth. But you did the best you could with the information you had. No one can fault you for that.” 

Maren shook their head again, placing the greeting card on the table before nudging their chair back slightly. Tanner let go of Maren, stepping backward with a sigh. Maren turned around then, putting their arms around his shoulders. Tanner felt a rush of green run through their bond, although he didn’t know if it came from himself or Maren.

“You’re trying to make me feel better and I love you for that,” Maren said, and Tanner put his head on their shoulder. “But the facts are the facts. I gave up on Robbie. Kelly, and Gordo, and Ox didn’t. And Kelly has barely spoken to me in months.” 

Tanner held Maren a bit tighter, silence hanging between them. The two of them stayed like that until Maren broke the embrace. 

“I’m going to go and finish packing a bag,” Maren said. They grabbed the card off the table and squeezed Tanner’s hand before taking the backpack that sat on the side of one of the kitchen chairs. “Thank you, Tanner. For trying to make me feel better.”

Maren started to leave the room, heading back up the stairs when Tanner called out to them. “We’re gonna fix this, Mar. It’s not too late.” 

Maren looked back at him, a sad smile on their face, as they walked up the stairs. He could feel their love, for him, for the pack, in their expression alone. But more than anything, Tanner wished they would believe what he said.

* * *

[Pack, 114]

**He took another step toward me, hands coming up because he** **_knew_ ** **what a cornered animal would do. He** **_knew_ ** **that I was on the edge, and the moon was so bright, so strong, so fucking** **_close_ ** **.**

**He said, “Listen.”**

**He said, “I need you to listen, okay?”**

**I jerked my head as the wolf and witch behind me began to move.**

I saw another brown wolf from the corner of my eye, this one nearly as big as the other but with orange eyes instead of violet, jump down to join the witch and his wolf. I heard the witch curse from behind me. 

“You were supposed to stay with the others,” the witch complained. “Don’t you ever fucking _listen?_ ”

But the wolf ignored him, not making a sound. I could feel its eyes on me. I didn’t like this.

**“Robbie,” the wolf in front of me snapped. “Look at me.”**

**I did. I was helpless** **_not_ ** **to.**

**He nodded. “Good. That’s good. It’s me, Robbie.” He took a deep breath. “It’s me. It’s Kelly.”**

**And I said, “Who?”**

* * *

[Pack, 116]

**I skidded in the ground, rocks tearing at the soles of my feet.**

**They took a step toward me.**

**I took an answering step back, only to hear a low growl behind me. I looked over my shoulder. The other wolves had recovered and were coming toward me, slowly and deliberately, like they were hunting.**

The smaller of the two brown wolves had joined them. It must have jumped from the bridge while I’d been distracted. It was larger than the other Betas, nearly the same size as the Omega, but it stood protectively in front of all of them, looking like it wanted to approach me, but hesitated for some reason. 

I took a step backward into the Alphas.

**“Fucking werewolves,” the witch said as he and the brown wolf slid down the hill next to the bridge. “And we just** **_had_ ** **to do this so near a full moon. Because of course, we did. Hey, let’s just make things as difficult as poss—Mark, if you don’t stop pushing me, I will** **_end_ ** **you.”**

* * *

[Pack, 118]

**Gordo shouted furiously as the wolf was knocked away with a wave of Ezra’s hand, slamming into one of the steel beams with a devastating crunch.**

The smaller brown wolf howled then, almost seeming in pain itself as it raced to the other brown wolf’s side.

**The wolf cried out in pain, a long and mournful sound** as the smaller brown wolf licked his injured side as if that would take his pain away.


	2. Heartsong: Like an Echo/A Door to Fix You/Enigmatic Dicks, pages 127 to 184

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks and all the love for reading. Extra thanks to my lovely Betas Gigi and Sarah!
> 
> If you enjoyed, please feel free to leave me a comment with your thoughts! <3

[Like an Echo/ A Door, 127]

**“Eh. I kind of like it long.” Elizabeth frowned. “Huh. That’s not the first time I’ve said that. Interesting.”**

**The woman slowly turned to look at Elizabeth. “Did you just make a sex joke? Oh my god, I’m going** **_everyone_ ** **.”**

Elizabeth sighed as she shook her head at the younger woman. “Did you bring Maren back with you?”

She glanced at me as though I should know that name. I didn’t. I wondered if whoever that was had been one of the wolves at the bridge. 

The human shook her head. “They’re at Mark and Gordo’s. Finally shifted back though, so that’s good.”

Elizabeth nodded, looking relieved. 

**“Robbie,” Elizabeth said, “this is Jessie Alexander. You met her brother, Chris, during your little bridge adventure. One of the wolves.”**

* * *

[Like an Echo/A Door, 131]

**“Where am I?” I asked miserably, not expecting an answer.**

**“Green Creek,” Gordo said, crouching down to inspect the line of silver.**

**“I don’t know where that—”**

**“Oregon.”**

**My eyes bulged. “What?” The Alphas didn’t speak. The man against the door frowned.**

**The witch stood again.**

He looked at the man against the door. 

“No Mar?” the witch asked him.

The man shook his head. “Asleep. Figured I’d leave them unless you really need me to wake them.”

He looked at the Alphas and the blond one shook his head repeatedly. 

“God no, “ the witch said instead. “I don’t even know the last time they slept.”

The man at the door sighed. He looked tired himself. They all did. I assumed it was because of me. I didn’t know how to feel about that. 

“You’re telling me.”

**He glanced down at the stump of his arm, scowled at it, and then glanced back at the Alphas. “You sure about this? We don’t even know if it’s going to work. It probably won’t. Aileen and Patrice think it’s gone too far.”**

* * *

[Like an Echo/A Door, 132]

**“Yeah,” a male voice called from somewhere above us. “But I’d hurry up if I were you, bird neck. We’re getting antsy up here. Carter’s shadow is trying to hump his leg—”**

**“He is not!” another voice cried. “Rico, for fuck’s sake, would you keep your goddamn mouth shut?”**

**Mark’s lips twitched. “They’re ready.” He closed the door again and stepped forward until he was behind Gordo, putting a hand on his shoulder.**

It was then that the door slammed open and a pissed off Beta came through the door, eyes shining orange. The Beta looked like Mark, with eyes that soon settled into the same blue, although with hair darker and longer than his. I realized then that Mark and this Beta were twins, this person must have been the smaller brown wolf from the bridge. Those eyes looked tired, with dark smudges underneath them, and I wondered if this was the Mar that the Beta and the witch had talked about.

From upstairs I heard someone say, “Mark’s gonna get his ass kicked.”

“Not if they decide to kick  _ yours _ first. You’re their mate after all.”

“Shi—“

The Beta slammed the door closed and glared at the gathered group, particularly the witch and (who I assumed to be) their brother. 

“You guys are fucking  _ assholes– _ ” 

“You were  _ asleep _ . You haven’t slept since we left Virgin—“ Mark started before the angry Beta cut them off. 

“He’s my—“ They started and stopped. I wondered what they were going to say. “He’s  _ Robbie, _ ”

They said my name with so much emotion that it physically  _ hurt _ . None of this made any sense and my head pounded. They met my eyes, and I could feel the blue and violet mixing, like a storm and fire somehow coming together. I looked away. 

“Maren—“

Mark looked like he was going to say something else, but the witch cut him off. 

“We don’t have  _ time _ for this.” the witch said, sighing. “Let’s get on with it already.” His face was expressionless as he seemed to be trying to center himself.

**Gordo took a deep breath and closed his eyes. The tattoos on his arms burst brightly, and the room filled with the ozone smell of magic. I hissed at it, and him, but he ignored me.**

**Mark’s eyes began to glow.**

**Violet.**

* * *

[Like an Echo/ A Door, 134]

**I gasped as the clearing disappeared. The weight holding me down shifted as the Alpha slid off me, collapsing to the floor.**

The Beta—Maren was kneeling at my side, their look of concern burning into my skull. 

“You’re okay,” they murmured. And although I could feel the blue coming from them in waves, their words made me feel just _ a bit _ of green, even though I didn’t know why. “You’re okay.”

**I blinked against the light overhead.**

**“Shit,” I heard Gordo mutter. “Goddammit.** **_Goddammit_ ** **!”**

**“Hey, hey,” Mark said, and I turned my head to see him cupping Gordo’s face. “It’s okay. We thought this would happen. At least now we know. You did what you could.”**

* * *

[Like an Echo, A Door, 134]

**Now.**

**Now.**

**Now.**

**I rolled back, bringing my legs up and over me, my hands flat on either side of my head. I pushed forward as I kicked my legs out, flipping up and landing on my feet.**

Maren tried to grab me but I pushed them away, towards the sliver. I heard them roar in pain as I left the circle.

**They barely had time to react before I was through the silver line. I crashed into Gordo, shoving him into Mark before heading for the door.**

* * *

[Like an Echo/A Door, 137]

**“Your bullets are silver, Rico,” Ox said.**

**The man frowned. “I know that. Oh. Right. It’ll kill him.” He squinted at me. “Are we sure that’s not a good idea? I mean, if I hit him in the leg, we could always amputate it before—”**

“You are  _ not _ shooting Robbie!” Maren shouted at the man, eyes blazing orange.

“Tell me why not again?” the man–Rico–sounded serious and the angry Beta growled at him.

**I snarled at him, keenly aware of the others moving slowly around me, circling.**

**Hunting.**

**Joe appeared behind him, followed by Gordo and Mark.**

* * *

[Green Creek/ On Sundays, 145]

**Mark held on to Gordo’s elbow, as if he were about to turn the witch toward him. The raven on his neck looked so real, I expected it to fly away.**

Maren was by his side, their eyes so bright, as they looked as though they were laughing at something someone had said.

**On Joe’s other side were Tanner and Chris and Rico. They appeared to be wrestling, with Chris standing in the middle, holding Tanner and Rico in headlocks on either side of him. He was grinning, a big goofy thing that made me ache.**

* * *

[Green Creek /On Sundays, 147]

**_There_ ** **I was with Tanner, wearing a work shirt similar to his, ROBBIE stitched into the patch on the chest.**

_ There _ I was with a  _ guitar _ in my hand, sitting next to Maren. A notebook was open in front of them, but their attention was focused on me, their hands on top of mine, as though they were teaching me how to play the instrument.

**_There_ ** **I was alone, sitting at the counter that stood right behind me now, my head tilted to the side as I held a phone against my cheek with my shoulder, typing on the computer.**

* * *

[Green Creek, On Sundays, 152]

**“Well, shit,” Tanner said. “How many times do we gotta fix the goddamn windows here?”**

**“Eh,” Chris said, crouching down and squinting at the damage. “Could be worse. At least no one’s guts or bones are hanging out this time.” He frowned. “That seems to happen to us a lot. I wish I’d known that before the whole, ‘hey guys, werewolves are real, do you want to be in a pack?’”**

“Stop. Talking.” Maren said fiercely. “Both of you. Right now.” Maren looked angry with their arms crossed. 

Tanner frowned and wrapped his arms around them from behind, but Maren stood stiffly at the mess all around the pack, looking stricken. 

“How many times do I have to tell you not to joke like that,” Maren snarled, pushing the man away from them. “Jesus fucking Christ.”

**“Too soon,” Rico muttered. He was glaring at me, and I thought I saw real hatred in his eyes. “I still have nightmares about it.”**

* * *

[Werewolf Jesus/My Father, 159]

**Carter took the phone away, looking down at the screen. A complicated expression crossed his face, and the room filled with the scent of blue, bright and cold. “Things just sort of… stopped. After you were gone. It didn’t seem right, I guess.” He cleared his throat. “I know you don’t remember, but I do. And man, I gotta tell you, it sucked. For all of us. It hit harder for Ox and Gordo and especially Kelly** – 

“For Maren—“

There they were again. Mentioned along with the likes of the pack witch, one of the Alphas, and my apparent mate. I thought back to the picture in the garage, the person teaching me to play the guitar. I didn’t understand it—and I said as much. 

Carter looked at me confused, his brow furrowed. 

“What do you mean?” He asked. 

“Why—“ I didn’t know how to phrase what I wanted to say. “What’s their deal? Why do they care so much? I can feel their blue. It’s almost—“

Carter interrupted me, nodding. “Overwhelming,” he finished for me. 

“Yeah, overwhelming.”

Carter looked at me, then at the timber wolf at his side, running his hand over the wolf’s brown fur. 

“Well, for one, they’re always blue. Sometimes it’s really bad and sometimes it’s not, but they’ve always been blue. Since long before I was born. They have depression,” Carter said. “I kinda think they have other mental health issues, but I’m not really qualified to say that. Even with my degree.” 

I must have looked confused because Carter elaborated. 

“Oh. I had a minor in psychology when I got my MBA. I wanted to major in it actually. But my dad—“ Carter interrupted himself, shaking his head. “Anyway, that doesn’t matter.”

“I didn’t know werewolves  _ could _ be mentally ill,” I said, a bit surprised. I knew we couldn’t get physically sick so I just assumed it was the same for mental illness as well. 

Surprisingly, Carter’s eyes lit up when I said that. 

“Yeah, I mean, you would think! But Mar actually isn’t the only wolf I’ve met with mental health issues. That’s been one of the perks of meeting so many different packs.” Carter sounded excited as he spoke and it was... nice to see. 

I thought about Maren again as Carter talked a bit more. I thought about the blue coming from them, how they almost seemed  _ more sad _ when they saw me. So I interrupted Carter, saying as much. 

He sighed and I could tell he was wondering how much he should say, what was his place to say and what wasn’t. 

“They lost their son,” Carter said. 

And then it hit me. I must remind them of their son, of their son who they must have lost and who never returned. But I did return, even if I didn’t want to be here, didn’t trust any of these people, no matter how much they claimed to love me. 

The two of us were silent for a moment as the timber wolf huffed, circling around Carter. 

**“But yeah. We all felt it.** When you were gone.  **Pack. It’s all about pack** .“

**“Oh.”**

**“Yeah,” Carter said. “Oh. It’s like… part of us was missing.” He looked up at me, mouth set in a thin line.**

* * *

[High School Girls/ See You Again, 167]

**It took two minutes before I couldn’t stand it any longer.**

**“What?”**

**Kelly arched an eyebrow at me. I hated him.**

**“What do you do?” Then, as if I couldn’t help myself, “What did I do?”**

**“You worked at the garage with Gordo and Ox. Chris and Tanner and Rico.** Sometimes Maren, but they don’t actually work there. They usually just write their music there and bother the rest of the guys.”

**I was dubious. It made sense, seeing as how much I’d been on the wall, but I couldn’t believe it.**

**“Me.”**

**“Yeah.”**

**“But I don’t know anything about cars.”**

* * *

[High School Girl/See You Again, 175]

**Ox headed for another set of stairs.**

**There was a beautiful painting hung halfway up, a violent slash of color on a white canvas. I didn’t understand it. I wanted to touch it.**

**“She painted it,” Kelly said from behind me. “Mom. She’s good. I don’t always understand it, but I don’t think that’s as important as how it makes me feel.”**

**I nodded but didn’t speak.**

**We reached the second floor.**

I heard music again—but different music now, coming from one of the open rooms. I felt as though it should have sounded familiar but it didn’t. 

I must have looked confused because Kelly explained. 

“Maren’s studio,” He said. “They’re a musician, a composer.” 

“It’s nice to hear music coming from their room again,” Ox said. His voice still made my head spin as I looked at him curiously. 

“They stopped making music,” said Ox, he looked away from for a moment, towards the room as a flash of blue ran through him. “For a long time.”

I remembered the conversation with Carter. 

“Because of their son?” I asked, slowly. 

Both Ox and Kelly froze. 

“What do you mean?” Kelly asked. His gaze was intense as if I knew something I shouldn’t. 

“Carter said Maren lost their son.” 

Ox sighed deeply and Kelly looked annoyed, almost angry for a moment, although at me or Carter or Maren I wasn’t sure, although it faded when Ox recovered, giving Kelly a look before putting his hand on my back. 

I let out a deep breath, not wanting to push them.

**All the doors were open save one. I sucked in air greedily, taking in the scents of** **_packpackpack_ ** **. Ox and Kelly didn’t mention it. The only closed door reeked of Kelly, and I didn’t want to ask. I couldn’t. I wasn’t ready.**

* * *

[Carter POV, During the beginning of Chapter Fix You/Enigmatic Dick]

Carter Bennett yawned as he opened the front door of the house at the end of the lane, his shadow, a timber wolf at his heels. He was tired after a long day in City Hall and all he wanted to do was check on Kelly and maybe lay down on the couch and play some video games. He still hadn’t finished the Final Fantasy VII Remake and he  _ really _ needed to get on that. 

So to say he wasn’t expecting to see his uncle’s slightly murderous expression was an understatement. 

Maren was sitting in a chair right in sight of the front door and if looks could kill, Carter would have been dead right then and there. He could feel the bright anger coming off Maren and he felt the timber wolf press close to his side, a low growl in the wolf’s throat. 

Rico popped his head in from the kitchen. 

“You should run,” Rico said, shaking his head at Carter. “They are  _ piiiisssed  _ at you.”

“I didn’t do it,” Carter said. “I don’t know what you think I did but I didn’t do it.”

Maren raised their eyebrows at Carter and Rico grimaced. 

“Wrong answer, papi,” Rico said. “It’s been nice knowing you though.”

“Oh, so you didn’t tell Robbie that I—and I quote—‘lost my son’?” Maren said, tilting their head to the side. 

Shit. Okay. Maybe he  _ had _ said that. But why was that a bad thin—

“Robbie doesn’t realize that  _ he’s the son _ ,” Maren said, their voice raising and now Carter was the one to grimace.  _ Fuck _ . “But of course, you didn’t say that, right, Carter?” 

They said his name sweetly, with an furious undercurrent and Carter swallowed thickly. There was an angry grin on Maren’s face and this, this was scary Maren. Scary Maren who was gonna kick his ass. 

“Please don’t kill me,” Carter said, almost pleadingly. “I’m your favorite nephew. You’d miss me.”

Maren glared at him and Carter felt sweat drip down his back. 

“Right now the timber wolf is my favorite nephew.”

Carter gaped at them and from upstairs Joe shouted, “I heard that!” 

“I said what I said!” Maren shouted up the stairs. 

“Are you really gonna let Mar kill me?” Carter shouted to his brother, his Alpha. He heard Ox laugh, presumably from where he was with Joe. Apparently he and Rico got off early today. Traitors. Both of his Alphas were nothing but  _ traitors _ . __

“You have until Mark and Tanner get home. They won’t let Mar kill you. Probably. You can probably stay alive until then,” Joe said. “Plus, you deserve some shit for opening your mouth in the first place.”

Carter grimaced and Maren sighed as they got up from the chair, slowly approaching Carter. 

“I know what the tombstone will say alright,” Rico said, from his safe spot near the kitchen. “ ‘Here Lies Carter Bennett, shouldn’t have fucked with Maren’s shit.’ “

“Okay, first of all, fuck you,” Carter said, moving to hide behind the timber wolf. “Second of all, I didn’t mean to!”

Maren wasn’t having it though. “That’s the same thing you said after you broke my guitar.”

“I didn’t mean to—”

“Carter, you knocked it over and then you  _ left it on the floor! _ ”

“On accident! I was in a rush. And I replaced it! With a  _ better  _ guitar!”

Maren gave him a withering look and he glumped, looking at the timber wolf. 

“You’ll protect me... right?” Carter said, literally bending down to hide behind the large wolf. 

So, of course, the timber wolf moved to the side, brushing up against Maren for a moment, before settling down on the floor to watch him. 

“You fucking  _ traitor _ ,” Carter cursed. 

Rico howled and he could hear Joe and Ox laughing from upstairs. Even Maren had a smirk on their face. 

“And that’s why he's my favorite nephew,” Maren said a slight smile on their face. “Also he makes me worry about him the least.”

Maren brought their attention back to Carter now and he looked at them nervously, an innocent smile on his face. 

“I’ll give you a ...” Maren looked at the clock. “30-second head start.”

Carter felt panic rush over him. 

“Mar, wait—“

“Starting right now.”

“Mar—“

“Carter, you might wanna shift before Maren does!” Joe called. 

Carter growled and started for the door, shifting into a wolf. 

Fucking traitors. All of them. 

He was a wolf by the time he made for the trees. 


	3. Heartsong: Fix You/Enigmatic Dicks to It’s Tradition/Can’t Forgive, pages 185 to 206

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank yall for sticking around! I hope you've enjoyed so far and of course, thank you for all your support!
> 
> As always, love goes to my beta readers, who I love *so* much

[Fix You/Enigmatic Dicks, 185]

**Elizabeth nodded. “Okay. We can just sit here if you’d like. I often find that silence is special if you’re with someone who understands.”**

**I turned away from her and stared at the wall.**

Later that night, after Elizabeth had left, I could feel someone’s presence from behind the basement door. I could feel the deep blues of a rushing river, and I knew it was Maren. Maren who always seemed even sadder when they looked at me, who, according to Carter, had lost their son. 

I wondered if they were actually going to come in the room or if they were just going to stand behind the door. It must have been half an hour, maybe more, before they opened the door. 

They had a messenger bag over their shoulder, a ratty-looking thing, brown and faded. I wondered how old it must have been. 

Maren was silent as they looked at me but eventually said “Hi” and “Hello” and “I brought you some stuff. If you want it.”

I could just barely sense the river of blue coursing through Maren now, so I figured they must have been shielding. But regardless of feeling their emotions, I could still see their sadness written on their face, in their voice. 

But I nodded. 

“Okay,” I said. “Thanks.”

Slowly, carefully, Maren set the bag down on the ground before sitting on the ground themselves. They sighed deeply, closing their eyes, before taking out a book and two notebooks out of the bag. 

“I’m going to stay here for a while?” They said it like a question. “If that’s alright with you?”

I could tell by their hesitancy that something was wrong, but I wasn’t sure if it was anything I had done. For a moment, I thought I smelled shame, guilt, but it was gone a moment later. 

I nodded again, regardless, still not saying a word. 

“Okay,” they said, holding both books like they were going to throw them. “Move back a bit.”

I blinked in surprise, my eyebrows raised. “Huh?” 

“I’ve gotta throw them over the silver. It’s not like I can hand them to you,” they said, as though it was obvious because it sort of was. 

I moved to the side as Maren tossed the books onto my bed. 

“Thank you,” I said to them, genuinely meaning it. I’d been doing my best not to die of boredom. 

They gave me a small smile that didn’t seem as sad somehow, nodding at me. 

“There’s a pen in the notebook.” 

“Thanks,” I said again. The silence between us was awkward as we just looked at each other. I didn’t know what else to say to them. 

“Carter told me about your son—“ I said, and Maren froze. I immediately shut my mouth as I felt blue rush from the older wolf, like a dam had just broken. 

“I’m sorr—“ I started but Maren cut me off, the blue disappearing behind a veil of nothing. 

“It’s fine. It’s fine. Really,” they said to me, as they let out one deep breath then another. 

They looked down at the notebook in their hand before looking back at the wall behind me. 

“Carter doesn’t know when to stop talking,” they said simply and that was it. They nodded towards the bed. “Let me know if the book is okay.”

That was a subject change if I ever heard one and that was probably a good idea. I didn’t know them but I had a feeling that it wouldn’t be a good idea to get them worked up given how they’d acted with Mark and Gordo. 

I turned around to grab the book, a blue and white cover, with a title that read ‘WITCHMARK’ by C.L Polk. I raised my eyebrow as I turned it over, reading the blurb on the back. I wasn’t exactly sure if it was my kind of book—and I told them as much. 

“It’s a mix of like an alternative Victorian and paranormal-ish romance. You should like it. It’s good.” Maren said. They rubbed at their left wrist as my eyebrows remained raised. They laughed a little bit at my expression. 

“It’s gay,” they said, trying to entice me. And, honestly, it worked. I looked at the book again for a moment, thinking, before I nodded in agreement. 

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll trust your recommendation.”

They smiled brightly at that and I couldn’t help but feel green, seeing them smile like that, even if I didn’t completely understand why I felt such relief. 

They rubbed at their wrist again and I looked at it, noticing the scar. It was a bite mark. Was it a mating bite? But it was in the wrong spot to be a mating bond. 

They must have noticed me staring because they raised their wrist in my direction. 

“Is that—?”

Maren nodded. “I have a mate,” they said before pausing for a moment. “Huh. We’ve been mates for more than a year, but it’s still a strange thing to say.”

I was still confused. “But it’s in the wrong spot?” It was more of a question than a statement but Maren answered kindly. 

“We’re platonic mates. Instead of like a romantic couple like Ox and Joe or Mark and Gordo.” I heard the unspoken _ like you and Kelly _ and my hand flew to my own mate bite, although we both didn’t address the elephant in the room. 

My eyebrows furrowed. “I've never heard of platonic mates.”

Maren nodded. “I hadn’t either. Apparently we’re extremely uncommon. I haven’t met anyone like us. Both my mate and I, we’re Aro—Aromantic. Well, I mean, I’m gray-aromantic, but it’s the same spectrum. Orientation is hard. It’s… a long story, honestly.” 

I could tell that it must be. I had so many questions, but I only asked one. “Who’s your mate?”

“Tanner,” Maren said. “Tanner Reeves. One of the shop guys.”

I thought about the older man with salt and pepper hair who had jumped on my back when I’d tried to run. I hadn’t noticed his wrist back then, I’d have to look for it in the future. 

“The oldest guy?” I asked and Maren snorted. I wasn’t wrong, Tanner definitely did look like the oldest of the pack, even older than Maren. 

“I’ll be sure to let him know. I’m sure he’d love to hear that,” Maren snarked before laughing. It was a nice sound. 

As I opened the book in my hand, I thought I wouldn’t mind hearing that laugh again. A part of me was… sad when they finally left for the night.

**Kelly didn’t come the day after that either.**

**Chris and Tanner did, though.**

* * *

[Fix You/Enigmatic Dick, 188]

**I tilted my head back and screamed.**

**It echoed throughout the bones of the house that creaked around us.**

**I didn’t stop for a long time.**

**By the time my voice cracked and broke, Kelly was gone.**

Maren came home early from Gordo’s that day, having left the garage an hour before the rest of the boys got off and the garage closed. They were going to work on a recording for Hal, having just figured out how some of the instrumental for his lyrics should go. 

So of course, as plans for members of the Bennett pack usually go, it went off the rails. 

Maren opened the front door to find Kelly on the couch, tears down the young man’s cheeks. They wished that this wasn’t a common sight these days, especially in the past few weeks since Robbie had returned and Kelly had... lost his wolf.

Fuck, Maren didn’t even know how it was  _ possible _ for Robert Livingstone to take someone’s wolf. But it scared Maren to their bones to even  _ think _ about. Being a wolf was Maren’s escape, it had been since they were 12 years old when they had turned for the first time, Mark as their tether, their rock. 

Maren sighed as they reached down, standing behind the couch, to run a hand through Kelly’s hair. He looked up, frowning at Maren, and they could feel the blue coming off Kelly, like an ocean. Like the deepest ocean in the world. 

And god, Maren understood that ocean. They’d felt that ocean for as long as they could remember. More than anything, they didn’t want Kelly to feel like this, to feel this sadness, this pain. They didn’t want this for anyone in their pack; it’s why they worked so hard on shielding their pack from the mess that was their own mental state at times. 

Maren walked to the other side of the couch, sitting down where Kelly’s long legs had laid moments earlier. Kelly shifted then, moving to allow his head to fall on Maren’s shoulder. 

Despite everything, Maren felt green. The two of them hadn’t gotten along since the pack had found out Robbie had been in Maine and Maren had gradually stopped helping the others try to find Robbie. 

So it was nice to be able to be in the same space without any—or at least as much—tension between them. 

“Fuck your green,” Kelly murmured into Maren’s shoulder. But Maren could feel a light cloak of green over him as well and they kissed the top of his head. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Kelly was quiet for a moment, lifting his head to meet Maren’s eyes. Jesus Christ, he looked more exhausted than Maren had ever seen their nephew. Being human, completely and utterly human, was taking a toll on him. 

“I told Robbie,” Kelly said and Maren raised their eyebrows at him. “I told Robbie what happened the night he...” Kelly trailed off. 

And Maren  _ froze _ . They felt a dark fear overcome them as they remembered the smell of blood, of Alan and Chris and  _ Tanner’s _ blood–their mate’s blood. For a moment, the world turned dark and they thought they could see Tanner’s blood soaking their hands, the sound of Tanner’s heart fading, fading, fading. 

“Maren! Maren! Mari—!”

Maren blinked as they felt strong hands on their shoulders, shaking them slightly. Their vision focused and a long light brown beard was in their face, frosty blue eyes that looked ever so frightened. 

Huh. Maren hadn’t even known that Mark was home. Maren frowned at their brother’s expression, hating how worried he looked, that  _ they _ had caused that worry. 

Unconsciously, they tried to reach out to Mark, to feel him within the bonds of pack, but they felt shards of glass that cut as though they were cutting at Maren’s skin when they did that, causing them to panic even more. The bonds  _ cut  _ at Maren and they  _ hurt _ enough that Maren felt as though they were bleeding. All because of  _ Robert Livingstone _ . And the thought of that man made Maren’s blood  _ boil _ .

Mark wrapped his arms around his twin and Maren sat there blinking. They felt Kelly put his arm around Maren’s shoulder, apologizing. 

Mark settled into the edge of the couch, pushing Maren and Kelly closer together. Kelly’s head rested on Maren while they laid on Mark’s chest, trying to find peace in the simple fact that their twin was next to them, that Maren could lay in Mark’s arms though the bond between them only caused pain. 

Mark sighed, looking at Kelly intensely. 

“Why did you think that was a good idea?” He asked his nephew. 

“Telling Robbie?” Kelly asked. “Or telling Maren I told Robbie?”

Mark sighed again, rubbing his hand over his shaved head. “Both.”

“Chris and Tanner and Rico came for lunch the other day. And Chris and Tanner went to see Robbie,” Kelly began. 

Maren seemed to bury their head deeper into Mark’s chest. They didn’t like the sound of this. Tanner hadn’t mentioned this to Maren. Tanner would get an earful about this later. 

“Rico said some shit—“

Mark pressed his hand to his face, muttering something under his breath

“And Robbie was on edge when I went to see him today,” Kelly said. He looked heartbroken. “And it just... came out. I told him.”

“Jesus Christ,” Mark muttered, shaking his head as Maren shot up. 

“Is Robbie okay—“ Maren started and Kelly gave them a look of disbelief. 

“I told him he killed two people and nearly killed someone else. And two of them are members of our pack.” Kelly spat. “So no, I don’t think he’s okay. But would anyone be?”

Maren started to get up, looking as though they wanted to run towards the basement, but Mark pulled them into the couch again. Maren struggled against their twin’s grip. 

“He shouldn’t be alone—“

“Mar,” Mark said, looking at both Maren and Kelly. They could feel blue coming from Mark and—fuck. Maren missed the bond the two of them had shared more than ever. “He doesn’t trust us. He doesn’t know us—

“He is my  _ son _ , Mark—“

“And he’s my  _ mate _ ,” Kelly snapped. “I get it. I fucking get it. But we can’t help him. We can’t fix this.  _ I  _ can’t fix this.”

Kelly’s voice broke as he finished speaking. Maren saw tears well in his eyes again as he furiously brushed them away. He drew his knees up to his chest, leaning his head against them. 

Maren sighed, wanting,  _ needing _ , to focus on their nephew instead of their racing mind. They pulled Kelly towards them and Mark wrapped his arms around both his twin and his nephew. 

“It–it’s going to be alright,” Mark said, although Maren could hear the uncertainty in his voice. “It  _ will _ be alright.”

And the three of them sat on the couch in silence, grateful for each other’s presence. Because really, what else was there to do except try to find some hope together?

* * *

[It’s Tradition/Can’t Forgive, 197]

**In the backyard, a large table had been set up, a dark green tablecloth set on top of it. Chris and Gordo and Mark were putting chairs around the table. In the center, weighted down, was a bunch of balloons.**

Maren was setting the table, headphones over their ears, dancing around the others as they placed plates and napkins and utensils.

**Carter stood with Kelly next to a grill. They were close together. As I watched, Kelly laid his head on Carter’s shoulder. The timber wolf sat on Carter’s other side, stretching his nose toward the meat on the grill. Carter tapped the tip of his nose with a pair of tongs. The wolf growled but didn’t try again.**

* * *

[It’s Tradition/ Can’t Forgive, 200]

**Rico wasn’t happy as he sat on the other side of the table. Chris and Tanner sat next to him.**

Maren took the seat next to their mate, squeezing his hand. A smile passed between them and Chris pretended to gag. 

“For someone in his forties, you act like a goddamn twelve year old sometimes,” Maren said, rolling their eyes. 

“Yeah Chris,” said Tanner cheekily. “You act like you’re twelve.”

“You have  _ no legs _ to stand on,” Chris argued.

The three of them bickered back and forth, but I turned my attention to the rest of the pack.

**Kelly pulled out the chair next to me. He sat down. I thought he was going to reach out and take my hand, but he didn’t. He kept his hands in his own lap.**

* * *

[It’s Tradition/ Can’t Forgive, 202]

**“I wouldn’t take you back,” Elizabeth agreed. “You don’t know the relief I felt when you and Gordo finally stopped being idiots. I turned your old room into a second studio. I don’t plan on changing it back. It’s probably for the best that you pick up your wet towels.”**

Maren shrugged their shoulders when Mark looked at them. “Don’t look at me. I need both my room and my music studio for my job. And I doubt you’d wanna share a room with me.”

I almost laughed at Mark’s expression as he shook his head back and forth. “Never again. Jesus Christ, never again.”

Gordo raised his eyebrows. “When did you two share a room?”

Mark was silent for a moment. “When we first moved to Maine. I’d never do that again. Not on my life or Mar’s– sorry, Mar,” Mark said, although he didn’t sound very sorry.

“I’m not  _ that _ bad of a roommate,” Maren said indignantly. 

Mark gave his twin a look of disbelief. “Our room looked like a literal hurricane after a week. Don’t even start with me.”

“Should I take that to mean Maren and I shouldn’t move in together?” Tanner asked. 

Mark put his hands up. “I’m not touching that one.”

Maren huffed. “Fuck you guys. I like my studio too much to move anyway. If I tried to move one of you assholes would end up breaking something.” They turned to look at Carter. “Oh wait–”

Carter rolled his eyes dramatically. “It was one time! One time, Mar!”

“And that’s why you’re not allowed near any of my instruments,” Maren said. “Ever again.”

I could feel the green coming from them, even as Carter and Maren bickered back and forth. 

**Mark laughed at Gordo’s smug expression. “Duly noted.”**

* * *

[It’s Tradition/ Can’t Forgive, 202]

**“Not cool, man,” Tanner said. He looked nervous, glancing between me and Rico. “He wasn’t…. It’s okay.”**

**Rico slammed his hand on the table. The plates rattled. An empty bottle fell over. “It’s not okay. You didn’t see what I did.” He swallowed, his throat clicking. His eyes were bright and glassy. “You didn’t hear it.”**

From the corner of my eye, I saw Maren let out a hitched breath as they and Tanner took each other’s hands. Maren looked as though they wanted to say something, but Tanner shook his head. 

I heard him mutter to them. “Don’t. Mar, please don’t.”

And they listened, shutting their eyes that had been glowing orange, exhaling sharply. 

**Chris rubbed his jaw. “I dunno, Rico. I think I did see it. I think I did hear it. And you know what I had that you didn’t? I felt it.” He winced. “All of it. And I get you’re pissed, but let’s not do this now, okay? We’re here for Ox. We’re together. I’m not saying let bygones be bygones, but just… curb it for a little while.”**

* * *

[It’s Tradition/ Can’t Forgive, 204]

**“That’s enough,” Gordo snapped. “I don’t want to hear another—”**

**“Oh, I bet you don’t,” Rico said. “I get it, papi. You’ve got your favorite back. You’re good to go.” He stood, the table shifting as he struck it with his thighs. “I’m sorry that I’m not all rah-rah Team Robbie like everyone else. But I held my friend as he died in my arms, and I can’t forget that. I won’t. And you all forcing this, acting like everything is fine, isn’t helping either.”**

Maren stood up then, eyes blazing orange even as Tanner tried to pull them back into their seat. 

“No. No,” they said to their mate, pulling away from him. “Rico wants to go down trauma lane? Let’s fucking go.” 

Tanner put his head in his hands like he didn’t want to watch what was going to unfold. I didn’t blame him.

“You know what I felt, Rico?” Maren asked as anger and sadness bloomed around them like an ocean. An ocean I wish I couldn’t feel because it was  _ suffocating _ . “I felt my mate—my mate who I’d been avoiding telling for  _ years _ because I didn’t understand our bond—dying in my arms. His  _ blood _ was all over me. My hands, my arms, my body. And there wasn’t a thing I could do about it.” 

Their eyes, blazed orange, a fury like fire in the air. “You know what  _ I  _ heard that you didn’t? I heard his heart nearly  _ stop beating _ . I  _ heard  _ Chris’s heart actually stop–” Chris and Tanner both looked away from the furious human and Beta. “So I fucking  _ get it _ , Rico. I really fucking do.”

“You really fucking don’t!” Rico said and I thought Maren was going to go at them, their fury only growing by the second. “It’s fucking different for you. Robbie is —“

**“Sit down,” Elizabeth said.**

**“Are you even hearing me? I’m not—”**

**“Sit. Down.”**

**The power in her voice was undeniable.**

**Rico opened his mouth again like he was going to argue, but instead he did as he was told.**

Maren had listened the first time Elizabeth had spoken, but their eyes continued to burn orange as they stared at their hands in front of them. I saw Mark’s look of concern and Tanner leaned into Maren’s shoulder while Chris stared at nothing, Jessie’s hand on her brother’s arm. 

Tanner has been quiet during most of the entire exchange. I wondered if he would remain that way. 

But a question still burned in my mind as I thought back to the words Rico hadn’t finished. I was what? What was I? What was I to Maren? I didn’t understand it and my head felt like it was spinning. All of this was so much. Too much.

**Joe said, “Maybe we should—” but Elizabeth held up her hand without looking at him, and he fell silent.**

**“I love you,” she said to Rico. “You’re important to me. To all of us. And you are justified in your anger.”**

* * *

[It’s Tradition/ Can’t Forgive, 206]

**“I don’t know any of you. I wish I did even as I hope I never get my memory back.”**

**It was Kelly who moved then.**

**He stood abruptly, his chair falling back into the grass.**

**He let go of my hand as he turned and headed for the house.**

**“Seriously,” Carter said, standing to follow his brother, “fuck you guys. Fuck you very much.”**

**The timber wolf trailed after him, tail swishing back and forth.**

I smelled blood and I looked to see Maren cursing. As their fingers had turned to claws, nicking their palm as they dug into them, their shoulders shaking. 

Tanner took their hands into his but Maren got up from the table shaking him away. 

“I’m sorry,” Maren said, although I wasn’t sure who the apology was for. “I just— I can’t do this shit.” 

Maren threw their jacket over their seat, their shirt over their head into the ground and my eyes caught two thin, faded, scars across their chest before they shifted into a brown wolf. 

I wondered if this was my fault, or maybe Rico’s. Maybe both of us, probably.

Both Mark and Tanner shared a look as the brown wolf bolted into the forest. Rico had the sense to at least look guilty about that. 

“Tan—“ He started, but his friend just shook his head. 

“Don’t fucking start. I really don’t want to talk to you right now, dude,” Tanner said, his mouth in a thin line. “I’m gonna go get Mar.” He stood to get up from the table, taking Maren’s jacket from the chair where the Beta had left it, and Mark interrupted him. 

“Are you sure—“ Mark started but Tanner put a hand on Mark’s shoulder. 

“I’ll bring them back. Don’t worry.”

At the tree line, I saw the man shift into a grey and black and white wolf, his coloring standing out against the green of the forest he entered.

Rico looked at Chris who just shook his head, his mouth in a thin line.

**Rico scrubbed a hand over his face. “Fuck. Ox, I’m sorry, man. I didn’t mean—”**


	4. Heartsong: House in Order/ Pack Divided to Fireflies, pages 208 to 245

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you have all been enjoying! Please let me know what you're thinking so far! 
> 
> Thanks for reading and thanks and love to my beta readers, Sarah and Gigi, as well! <3

[House in Order/ Pack Divided, 208]

**“What might be too far gone?” I asked, not liking the sound of any of this.**

**She laughed until she saw I didn’t get the joke. She looked slowly over at Gordo. “You didn’t tell him?”**

**Gordo shrugged. “We got busy. Family problems. And it’s Ox’s birthday. Almost.”**

I heard leaves shift and Maren and Tanner joined us in the woods. Maren was wearing different pants than they had been before, the others having ripped into pieces when they’d shifted. They were wearing Tanner’s shirt while he wore Maren’s jacket that was a bit small on him. He had on the same jeans he’d had before although both of them were barefoot. 

“Nice of you both to join us,” Aileen said, giving them a once over. She focused on Maren, eyes raised. 

“You’re more of a mess than usual, boyo,” she commented and Maren shrugged their shoulders. Aileen sighed as she shifted her attention from Maren to me.

**“That right then? Salutations, and all that. But I thought something was up. You’re all jumbled. Out of sync. Keeping secrets. That never works out for anyone.”**

**“That’s one way to put it,” Rico muttered.**

* * *

[House in Order/Pack Divided 210]

**“No. Not really. Don’t be ridiculous. Do I need to get the others to hold your mouth open? I’ll massage your throat to make sure you swallow.”**

**“Bet he’s never heard that before,” Carter muttered. Then he looked at me. “Have you ever heard that before? I mean, I know Kelly is ace and all, but—”**

“Jesus fucking Christ.” I heard Maren mutter. “I do  _ not _ need to think about my nephew having sex. Bad enough I’ve  _ heard _ one of them have sex. “

Joe and Ox both turned red with embarrassment and Chris and Tanner snorted.

**“Enough,” Patrice said. He turned to me. “Dis is your mate.”**

* * *

[House in Order/Pack Divided 212]

**Tanner grinned at me as he leaned against me.**

**“Hey, Robbie.”**

**“Sorry I almost murdered you.”**

**“Um. Thank you?”**

**I nodded. “I don’t know you either, but you seem like a nice guy. I wouldn’t hurt you unless you were trying to hurt me. You too, Chris.”**

**Chris shook his head from the other side of Tanner. “It was magic, man. We get that.”**

**“Rico doesn’t think so. But don’t tell him I said that. He’s standing right** **_there_ ** **.”**

I was surprised when I heard Maren let out a sharp laugh from Tanner’s side, one of their hands holding onto Mark’s. It was nice to feel a bit of green after that ocean of blue from before. It was nice to hear them laugh and I told them as much. 

They smiled at me sadly. 

“Thank you, Robbie.”

“I’m sorry I keep making you sad though. Even if I don’t get why I keep making you so sad.”

They let go of Mark’s hand to cup my face with it. “It’s not your fault,” Maren said. “None of this is your fault. I need you to know that.”

And I thought they meant it by the sound of their heartbeat. I appreciated that, even if I wasn’t sure it was true. But I nodded nonetheless.

**Rico glared at me as he stood behind Tanner. Jessie rolled her eyes and pulled him to the ground. She held her brother’s hand, and Rico grumbled under his breath as he hooked his chin over Tanner’s shoulder. “At least we’re not all naked this time.”**

* * *

[House in Order/ Pack Divided, 216]

**Aileen glared at him. “I know. But they’re not helping. They’re spinning their wheels. What exactly is your plan, Alphas? You let yourselves become distracted by the Omegas, you watched as a member of your pack was taken from you, and what have you done? How much longer will this go on before you decide to act?”**

“We’re  _ trying _ !” Maren snapped. We’d had a day, and I wasn’t surprised to hear Maren snap considering what had just happened before. Tanner ran his hand down their back to calm them. 

“Your  _ trying _ isn’t good enough! Especially not you, Maren Bennett. Your mind is more of a mess than it usually is,” Aileen retorted. 

“My mind has  _ always _ been a mess! Even when Robbie was still my tether losing the bond with Mark—“ Maren broke off cursing when I gaped at them. 

I said, “ _ Wait _ .” 

I said, “ _ What _ ?” 

I said, “Hold on—“. 

And suddenly Maren’s reactions made a lot more sense. They’d lost me—their  _ tether _ . Jesus Christ, I had been their tether and I had nearly killed their mate. 

“Hey.” Kelly reached out, taking my hand into his. “It’s okay,” He said, as though he knew my mind was racing. 

“You,” Aileen focused on Maren, on Rico, before turning to the entire pack. “Need to get your  _ shit _ together.”

“You say that like it’s so easy!” Maren said voice raised again. They wouldn’t look at me, not right now. Their skin crawled like they still wanted to shift and run away. “But it’s not. Not when the bonds, the  _ bond, _ that used to be your safety net cuts you like shards of glass.” 

Mark flinched, looking away from both his twin and the old witch. I could feel blue coming off him like a river, steady and flowing, as Gordo took his mate’s hand. 

Aileen looked as though  _ she _ wanted to growl at the younger person. “You need to work through it! It’s been over two  _ years _ , Maren Bennett!” 

“Well, I’m sorry that Mark’s been my twin for over  _ forty _ years!” Maren shot back. 

I thought Aileen would fire back but Patrice gave her a look.

**“Aileen,” Patrice warned.**

* * *

[Not This Again/ You Loved Me, 220]

**I grimaced as I poked the mouse. It was crusty. “Do you guys ever clean here?”**

**He almost looked embarrassed. “We didn’t—shut up. It was easier when you were here.** Maren tried to help, but honestly, they fucking suck at cleaning. And customer service.  **You kept things clean.” Then he grinned. “You made a good office wife.”**

**“Oh, fuck you, Gordo.”**

* * *

[Not This Again/You Loved Me, 226]

**“You made heart eyes at Mark,” Tanner accused. “For years.”**

**“I was trying to murder him with the power of my mind,” Gordo retorted. “I don’t do heart eyes. I don’t even know what that is.”**

“Besides,” Gordo continued. “It’s not like you can talk, Tanner. It took you being a wolf for you and Maren to work out your shit.” 

“Okay, that’s not fair!” Tanner said quickly. “I didn’t  _ know _ about the mystical moon magic shit with Maren until after I became a wolf. That’s Mar’s fault.”

“I’m pretty sure I heard them call you their mate  _ before _ that happened, Tanner,” Gordo said, rolling his eyes at his friend. “Nice try though.”

**“He’s right,” Chris said. “Don’t take advice from Gordo. You’ll end up surly all the time until you’re transformed by the power of love.”**

**“I’m not transformed—”**

* * *

[Fireflies, 237]

**Mark didn’t speak as he led me through the house. Kelly and Carter were clearing the table in the kitchen. Elizabeth sat on the back porch, watching the stars come out.**

Maren sat on the couch, engaged in a phone conversation, but looked up as Mark and I passed them. Mark paused to kiss them on the top of their head before moving me along.

**Ox and Joe were near, their heartbeats in sync. The others were at their own houses, and I knew Mark should have been on his way home to Gordo, but here he was, with me.**

* * *

[Mark POV, Fireflies, 140]

**Mark kissed my forehead and let me be, closing the door behind him.**

**I sat there for a long time, the wolf of stone in my hands.**

By the time Mark Bennett reached the first floor of the house, his twin was off the phone with who he guessed had probably been Hal. The two of them were nearly done creating songs for the younger man’s newest album and Maren had been swamped for at least the past month. But that didn’t stop the curious look on their face as they stared at him as he walked down the stairs. 

Maren looked at him almost expectantly and Mark leaned on the couch, glancing at the pile of papers that sat at his twin’s side. He expected to see new songs, compositions written out in music notes that he had never learned, a language that Mark didn’t understand. But instead, the songs were ones he already recognized, at least one of them being a decade old.

“These are old,” Mark commented, taking some of the pages into his hand and flipping through them. 

Maren snatched them out of Mark’s hand. “Excuse you.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Mark said as he moved his hands to his twin’s hair. 

Maren closed their eyes as they sighed, leaning into their brother’s touch. 

“Hal is an asshole,” Maren said, although they didn’t actually seem to be upset. 

Mark nodded. Oh, Hal Jennings definitely was. Mark honestly thought he was a little shit. But Mark also remembered that the human had literally shown up in Green Creek out of nowhere during the months that Robbie had been missing– all because the kid was worried about Maren after they dropped their music commitments. He had called Maren his  _ friend _ . And he didn’t completely lose his mind when he found out that werewolves existed. 

That’s why Mark thought he fit in quite well with the rest of the pack. He wondered if Hal wasn’t so far away and if he wasn’t a public figure if the musician would be pack himself. Regardless, Mark liked the idea of Maren having non-werewolf friends, even non-pack friends. If he was being honest, the rest of the pack could also use some non-pack friends. 

“He tricked me into agreeing to record something with him,” Maren said as they rolled their eyes. “Little shit.”

Mark raised his eyebrows. It had been a while since Mark had heard Maren sing and he wondered how the hell Hal had convinced Maren to do that. 

“I made a bet. And I might have lost,” Maren said. Ah. Yeah, that explained that. “So now I’m looking through some stuff to figure out what the fuck I’m going to record with him.”

Maren shook their head, taking their attention away from the papers and focused on the stairs, as if to see if Robbie would come back down. 

“Is Robbie—“ Maren started. Mark nodded. 

“It’s a lot,” He said simply. “But I think he’s going to be okay, I think. It’s just a lot to process.”

Maren took their brother’s hand into their own and looked up at him. The expression on their face was soft and Mark leaned his forehead against theirs. 

“Thank you,” Maren murmured softly. And Mark could feel their twin’s gratitude all around them. Their gratitude smelt sweet, the cookies that Maren was good at baking but rarely made. He wondered what could get them to bake again. It was nice to feel this, to not feel the roaring blue–or the roaring of his own mind–for a change. 

“You don’t have to thank me,” Mark said. “He’s Robbie. He’s family. He’s pack.” 

And oh, did he love the green, green, green, he felt from his younger sibling. He didn’t get enough green from them and to feel it again was enough to let Mark ignore for a moment all the mess that had happened, was still happening. For a second, he could pretend that the bond between them hurt. 

“Come run with me?” Mark asked his twin. He looked at the clock on the wall. It was getting late and he knew Gordo would be wondering what was taking so long, but if he ran back home, he could kill two birds with one stone. 

“To your place?” Maren asked and Mark nodded. “Guess it’s a good thing I leave clothes there.”

Mark snorted as he headed for the front door, Maren not far behind him, their jacket, their nice leather jacket that Carter and Kelly had gotten for them a few years back, left behind on the couch. 

“As if you wouldn’t just steal my clothes anyway.”

“I’ll have you know that I would steal Gordo’s instead,” Maren said as the two began stripping by the door. “His fit nicer because he isn’t a damn giant.”

Mark snorted and the two of them bolted out the door, Maren grinning mischievously before turning into a large, brown wolf.

And through the bonds of pack, the tenuous, strained bonds that the two of them shared, Mark heard  _ raceracerace  _ and the wolf bolted out of sight. 

Mark rolled his eyes as he heard Elizabeth’s chuckle from the backyard as he shifted from man to wolf. 

No matter what changed; No matter how badly bonds of pack were fucked up or the fact that he and Carter were Omegas, right here, right now, Mark was so grateful to have this. This playful, playful green coming from his twin was one of the nicest feelings in the world—and one he had missed the most. 

* * *

[Fireflies, 245]

**“You could still not know he exists,” Gordo said quietly. “And if there’s one thing I’ve learned through all of this, it’s that we need each other now more than ever. We’re pack, kid.”**

After Kelly left, I spent the day in the office doing paperwork and answering phones, Gordo’s words echoing in my head. _We’re pack. We’re pack. We’re pack._ _I_ was pack. And that meant more than I could put into words. It meant that I was important to this pack, to _my_ pack, these people. I didn’t—but maybe I did— know why my heart pounded when I thought about it. 

So maybe I shouldn’t have been that surprised when I found a card addressed to someone named Ren buried at the bottom of the desk drawer. 

My eyes narrowed as I stared at the white envelope, my handwriting on it. But I didn’t know a Ren, at least I didn’t  _ remember _ one. Whoever it had been for, they hadn’t received it as the envelope was still sealed shut. 

I hesitated before opening it, glancing to see if anyone was nearby, as if it contained some hidden secret. After I looked around once, Gordo was in his office, frowning at his computer screen, and twice, Chris and Tanner were in the garage, Rico and Ox having gone to lunch. Maren sat at a desk in one of the corners of the garage, their laptop open, although their attention seemed to be on their mate who was under one of the cars. 

I sliced open the envelope, pulling out a card, a birthday card. It wasn’t a professional card, one like you’d get from a store, but rather one that had been designed personally—that I guessed I’d made. I pressed a finger to my temple as my head ached, just another thing I could apparently do that I couldn’t remember knowing how to do. 

I didn’t pay much attention to the front of the card as I opened it, scanning over the words quickly. My face blanched as my eyes caught the words “your son” near the end of the inscription. 

“What the fuck?” I said out loud. Because I wasn’t anyone’s son—not anymore. I hadn’t been anyone’s son since my mother died. Because I didn’t know anyone named Ren. Because the pack hadn’t mentioned anyone named Ren. 

But then Carter’s words echoed in my head.  _ They lost their son _

Maren had lost their son. Carter had said that Maren lost their son and–. Ren. Maren. Ren was Maren and I was–. It clicked. Finally, everything clicked and I felt my mind  _ buzz _ and  _ freeze _ at the same time. 

Because everything  _ made sense _ now. Well… maybe not everything. But at least why I of all people had been their  _ tether _ . Why Maren had been so sad when they saw me, but why they had been so kind to me too—even though I had nearly murdered their mate. Jesus Christ, they had considered me their  _ son  _ and even if I didn’t remember  _ how _ that had become our relationship, I was the reason they felt their mate’s blood on their hands. 

I felt frozen where I stood as the card fell from my hand. I felt guilt and shame—and stupidity. I felt so stupid for not figuring this out sooner when all the signs had been there, right in front of my face. Some Ravenclaw I was. 

“Robbie?” Maren called out from the doorway of the office that lead from the bay of the garage. I could tell from the look on their face they felt, to some degree, the mess of emotions that were rushing through my mind. And before I could say anything, or even stop them, they were in front of me, picking up the card that I had let fall. 

I felt waves of blue rush over them, the sour scent of shame, before... nothing. Maren closed me, probably the rest of the pack, off, as they swallowed thickly as they read the inscription. 

“Maren—“ I said at the same time they said. “Robbie—“

We stared at each other. Not knowing what to say, I think. Not knowing who should speak first. 

A heartbeat passed, then two and Maren sighed, looking exhausted. 

“I’m sorry Robbie,” Maren said, and they looked at me with such sadness in their eyes that my heart hurt nearly as much as my head did. 

“You’re sorry?” I said incredulously. “I’m the one that should be sorry. I was your  _ tether _ . I nearly killed your mate—“

Maren grabbed my wrist, shaking their head. 

“None of that was your fault,” Maren said and they sounded like they truly believed it, even if I didn’t. “Nothing that has happened, that happened to you, to me, to Tanner, to Kelly, to  _ anyone _ , has been your fault. I said that before and I’ll say it again. None of this is your fault, Robbie Fontaine.”

Their hands were on my shoulders now, as though they wanted to shake me until they were sure I believed them. But I looked away. Because even though they believed it–and I could tell they did — I didn’t. Not really, not completely, not truely. 

“Robbie, look at me. Please,” Maren said, their gruff voice cracking. I met their eyes, their icy blue meeting my green, although it ached. 

“I’m sorry, Robbie. You’re my kid. You’re as good as my own and not only did I keep it from you, but I failed you—”

I interrupted them. “You didn’t—”

“I gave up on you!” They said it in a rush, but it hit me just the same. I flinched and they looked away. 

“We found out you were in Maine and I gave up on you. I’d thought you wanted to leave and I—“ They paused biting their lip. They shook their head. “It doesn’t matter anymore. The point is, I gave up on you, my  _ son _ . I lost you—Robert took you from me, from all of us. But then I gave up on you and I was too ashamed to tell you the truth. And  _ I’m sorry _ .” 

I could smell the shame coming from Maren even if they tried to hide it, even as I tried to hide the hurt from them, as we tried to hide our hurt from each other. More than anything I wanted to run, to hide somewhere, somewhere far away from everything. But against my instincts, or maybe following my instincts that knew me better than  _ I  _ knew me, I did the opposite. I threw my arms around Maren. 

They froze. Just for a heartbeat, they froze before wrapping their arms around me. I felt drips of tears leak from Maren’s eyes onto my shirt as we held each other. For some reason, just like Kelly, this felt right, even if I couldn’t remember why it felt right. 

We broke apart by the time Ox and Rico entered the room, having returned from lunch. I thought Rico would glare at me or something, but he didn’t and actually looked concerned at both of us sniffing. 

“Is everything....” he trailed off, looking at me then Maren, who nodded. 

“I told him everything,” Maren said. “Well, he found a birthday card for me and found out and I told him everything.”

I looked at the date on the card again and saw it dated for a few days after I’d gone missing. I winced. “That is... not a fun way to spend a birthday.” 

I didn’t know what else to say or why that’d come out of my mouth really, but it made Maren chuckle, which brought a smile to Ox’s face. I enjoyed seeing him smile, like I enjoyed hearing Maren’s laugh, and Kelly’s... everything. 

“Are you two okay now?” Ox asked. His words were slow, deliberate as though he’d thought about if they were the right words to say for a bit. 

Maren looked over to me and I hesitated for a second, not knowing what to say. This was all a lot—and Ox placed a hand on my shoulder. 

“I know this is a lot to take in. Give yourself time to process,” he said and I was grateful, but I looked at Maren. Their face was a blank mask until they noticed my eyes, and smiled at me slightly. 

“I don’t know what you and I were like before,” I said to them and they nodded, silent, just watching me, waiting. “But I wouldn’t mind trying to find that again.” 

And I meant it. For some reason, some reason that I didn’t quite understand, I knew no matter what, Maren couldn’t replace my mother. That they couldn’t, that they hadn’t replaced her. They’d become something else, something different. And I think apart of me, the part of me I couldn’t reach still wanted that again with Maren. 

And Maren smiled. For one of the first times since I’d seen them, they smiled a smile that reached their eyes as they moved forward to kiss my cheek. 

“I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.” 

**Ox drove us home. His work shirt lay folded on the bench seat between us, the old truck bouncing on the potholes in the dirt road. He wore a loose tank top, the window rolled down, his arm hanging out the side. The air was warm, and I didn’t know if there was anywhere else I’d rather be.**


	5. Heartsong: Fireflies to Blood, pages 248 to 305

[Fireflies, 248]

**Kelly smelled so blue, I thought the weight of it would crush me. He watched Carter wrestling with the timber wolf, their violet eyes flashing in the dark.**

I saw Maren nearby, the brown wolf laying against white and brown and grey of Chris and Tanner’s coats, their gaze flicking to me and Kelly every so often. I smiled at them and I heard them woof at me. It felt nice.

**“I’m okay where I am,” I said. I sat next to him, back against the tree trunk. Our shoulders brushed together every now and then, and I was working up the courage to lay my head on his shoulder.**

* * *

[Fireflies, 249]

**It was while I was collecting said sticks and feathers and leaves and trying to figure out what I could do about bright colors when Joe told me in no uncertain terms Carter was being a dick and under no circumstances should I listen to his advice ever again.**

**Which was a relief, because I didn’t think I was very good at prancing or sensual dancing.**

**Carter assured me I was very good at it as he tried to hand me the sticks I’d dropped.**

**But then Joe tackled him.**

Maren had laughed at the two brothers before kissing my forehead and telling me that Kelly and I would figure it out, and that was that.

**And now here we sat under a tree while wolves ran around us. Most of the Omegas had nodded toward me in greeting. One had even hugged me. Several gave me a wide berth. On them, I could smell fear. It hurt, though I couldn’t blame them.**

* * *

[Fireflies, 250]

**“I think so.” And because I had nothing else to give, I said, “I don’t know there’s anywhere else I’d rather be.”**

**He bit back a smile, eyes on me, then away. “Gonna puff out your chest and prance?”**

**“I’m going to murder Carter,” I muttered.**

“It was actually Maren,” Kelly said.

I gaped. 

“ _ They _ ratted me out?” I said indignantly.

**Kelly laughed. I puffed out my chest, oddly proud. That only made him laugh harder.**

* * *

[Fireflies, 256]

**“What the fuck is going on?” Gordo demanded as he approached. His tattoos shone in the dark, and Mark was loping next to him, violet eyes darting back and forth between the gathered Omegas. Then he looked at me. His nostrils flared as he inhaled sharply. He started to growl at me, but then he stopped. He snorted, lowering his head to paw at his nose.**

**The others began to gather around. Chris and Tanner were shifted, Rico standing between them with his arms across his chest, glowering at anyone and everyone.**

Maren, still shifted, was pressed against the newer werewolves, their tail locked with Tanner’s. But their gaze was focused on me as their eyes flashed orange, concerned. Concern for me, but for Tanner and Chris too. 

**It took me a moment to understand why Chris and Tanner smelled like fear. They were scared of me.**

* * *

[Not Fair/ Forgive Myself, 258]

**“Kelly,” Joe said, eyes wide and wounded. “That’s not true. We were…. It was hard. On all of us.”**

**“Really?” Kelly said. He laughed, and it was such a heartbreakingly hollow thing. “Did you lift a finger to help me?” He looked around wildly.**

“If I remember correctly, you told Maren to “Get your shit together and figure it out” after they lost their  _ tether _ —“

I saw Maren flinch, refusing to meet anyone’s gaze. Joe paled and I smelt the sour smell of guilt engulf the Alpha.

“After this was the  _ second time _ they’d lost their tether in a  _ year _ .”

This time Mark paled. “Kelly—“ his uncle tried. But Kelly ignored the man. Mark’s eyes flashed violet and Maren whined, low like a wolf. He looked stricken as Maren buried their head in Tanner’s shoulder and Kelly barreled onward.

“Did any of you care?” Kelly said. 

**“Did any of you besides Gordo and Ox** and Maren? 

**Or were you too goddamn busy licking your own wounds to care that he was taken? Because I came to you. I begged you to do everything you could. To call everyone you knew. And do you remember what you told me?”**

**Joe clenched his jaw.**

**“You said maybe it was for the best,” Kelly said. “That maybe this was the way things were going to be. That you needed to help Chris and Tanner before you could even consider helping anyone else. I didn’t need my Alpha, I needed my goddamn brother, and you said no.”**

**“Uh-oh,” Tanner said. He inched toward the door. He didn’t make it very far before Chris grabbed his arm.**

Maren, glaring at him before they looked back at me, trying to look at me softly, but I could see the pain in their eyes. 

They looked as though they wanted to run away themselves though. To shift into their wolf and flee from this terrible situation. I understood. I didn’t blame them. I wanted to too.

**Tanner looked down at Chris’s hand before lifting his head again. He sighed. “I wish I wasn’t so used to being naked in front of a lot of people like I am now.”**

**“Thanks for sharing,” Chris muttered. “Now shut up so Kelly can yell at us some more. I think we kind of deserve it.”**

**“That’s not fair,” Joe said, sounding shocked, as if he’d never heard his brother speak to him this way before. And for all I knew, he hadn’t.**

**“Isn’t it?” Kelly asked. “Because it sounds to me like you’re making the same mistakes Dad did. Out of sight, out of mind. Isn’t that right, Gordo?”**

**“Kelly,” Ox said, the warning in his voice clear.**

**Gordo’s expression shuttered closed.**

Mark’s hands were claws in his fists as the Omega let out a sharp breath. Maren reached over to take one of his hands as they looked at me with the same sad expression on their face.

**“That’s…. Jesus, Kelly.”**

**Kelly ground his teeth as he started to pace. “Aileen said we were broken. Divided. That we couldn’t hope to do anything about this unless we fixed what was wrong with us. And you’re all standing there after you’ve put a fucking bandage on a gushing wound and congratulating yourselves because of it. We can’t do this. We can’t keep going on this way.”**

* * *

[Not Fair/ Forgive Myself, 259]

**The timber wolf moved next. He huffed out a breath, sounding annoyed, before he left Carter’s side, walking toward Kelly and me. He stepped gingerly over the silver, snapping at his own back paw when it caught a small part of the powder. He came over to me. He looked me up and down, and I swore he rolled his eyes before he laid his head on my lap, blinking up at me slowly. I hesitated a moment before gingerly patting the top of his head.**

**“What the fuck,” Carter said faintly.**

Maren came next, letting go of Mark’s hand and almost seeming to glare at the sliver that laid on the floor. They stood behind me and wrapped their arms around my shoulders, hugging me tightly as they ran their hand through the fur on the timber wolf’s head. They smiled at Kelly. 

“My favorite boys,” Maren said and they glared at Carter when they said it, causing the younger man to huff. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Maren whispered to me. “I’m not letting anything happen to you. Not this time.”

My heart soared and for a moment, I almost believed them.

**Elizabeth came next. She had a thin, worn robe wrapped around her shoulders. It was far too big for her, and it dragged on the floor. Ox bent over and lifted it as she crossed the line of silver before letting it fall once she was clear.**

* * *

[Not Fair/ Forgive Myself, 261]

**It wasn’t long before Gordo and Joe returned, arms full of blankets and pillows. They were careful not to let them drag in the silver, stepping over the broken line with exaggerated steps. Chris and Tanner were yawning as they took a blanket from Gordo, standing in order to lay it on the floor. Joe threw the pillows on top of it, and Mark and Jessie were the first to lie down on it. Gordo snorted as Mark raised a hand toward him. He pulled his shirt off, leaving him in only a white tank top and shorts. Mark sighed as he curled around Gordo, fingers trailing over the stump at the end of his arm.**

Maren laid with their back towards Mark and Tanner sighed as he moved over to them, looking at Maren with puppy dog eyes. Maren looked still annoyed with him, but wrapped an arm around his waist as he kissed the older wolf’s wrist where their mating scar was.

**The others settled, leaving space for those of us who remained.**

* * *

[Not Fair/ Forgive Myself, 261]

**“Love,” Elizabeth told her oldest, “I’d rather not hear about such things, if it’s all the same to you. Though I’m glad to hear you’re open to… new experiences.”**

**“What?” Carter asked. “What new experiences?”**

**“So close,” Jessie said as she yawned.**

**“Jesus Christ,” Kelly muttered. He lay down next to me, his back pressed against Ox.**

Maren mock whispered to Elizabeth. “Why are your children like this?”

“They get it from the Bennett side,” Elizabeth answered. 

Maren looked like they were gonna say something up but closed their mouth before nodding. 

“Honestly you’re probably right.”

**And though we weren’t whole, not by a long shot, a quiet energy crackled around us. I was on the precipice again, and the void was still there, but I wasn’t alone. Instead of jumping, I took a step away from it.**

* * *

[Not Fair/ Forgive Myself, 264]

**Jessie came next. She zigzagged toward me, left, right, left, and Ox said there there there, and I pivoted to the side as she brought the staff from over her head. It hit the ground where I’d just been standing, the tip digging into the earth. Before she could lift it, I kicked down on it, my heel striking the middle of the staff, snapping it in two. Jessie lurched forward but stayed on her feet as I hopped back.**

**“Oh shit,” Tanner breathed.**

“He was so young,” Maren said dramatically, a slight smile on their face. “But alas, one should never–” Maren looked at Rico with a wolfish grin on their face. “Fuck with Jessie’s shit.”

“Why can Mar joke like that but we can’t?” Chris whispered to Tanner.

“Because they will fuck us, particularly me, up,” Tanner said. “And I like them not kicking my ass, thanks.”

**Jessie frowned down at the broken staff. “I made that myself.”**

**“I’ll find you another stick in the woods,” I said, feeling lighter than I had since I came to Green Creek. Carter choked but covered it up quickly. “Shouldn’t be too hard.”**

* * *

[Not Fair/ Forgive Myself, 266]

**“What a little bitch,” Chris muttered.**

**“Don’t worry about him,” Tanner told me. “He’ll come around. I think.”**

**The others began to drift away, following Rico. Elizabeth and Jessie giggled with each other, looking back at me before laughing again.**

Maren looked at me, then Ox, then Tanner. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” they asked. 

“Yeah we’ll be fine,” Chris answered. “Wait, you weren’t asking me. No, of course, you weren’t asking me.”

He sounded slightly affronted and Tanner snorted, amused with Chris’s reaction. 

But Ox nodded. “I’m sure.”

Maren looked at him, gaze intense, before nodding.

“See you assholes at home,” they said, their hands in their pockets.

**Carter and the timber wolf stood next to Kelly. Carter was speaking in low tones, his hands on his brother’s shoulders. Kelly nodded at whatever Carter said.**

* * *

[Not Fair/ Forgive Myself, 273]

**“Dude went to town on that deer,” Chris whispered, even though it was pointless to do so. “It was so gross. Like, entrails everywhere.”**

**“That you ate,” Tanner retorted.**

**“I have a thing for guts when I’m shifted,” Chris said as if it were nothing. “Don’t hate.”**

**Tanner laughed. “Don’t hate. Listen to you. You’re in your forties. Start acting like it.”**

Tanner was quiet for a moment, like there was more he wanted to say but wasn’t sure how to say it. “I mean... It's because of all this that Mar and I figured out the mate stuff. So yeah, it hasn’t been easy, but it hasn’t been all bad either.” 

Chris snorted. “You two were  _ real _ dumb about the entire thing.”

“Who would have thought  _ platonic mates _ were a thing? Not me. And not the one who’d been a wolf their entire life either. I refuse to feel dumb about that,” Tanner said. 

“Honestly, I’ve never heard of it either so...” I said. 

Tanner looked triumphant. “Thank you!” He said, a bright grin on his face. 

**“It’s not—”**

**“Why are you doing this?” They turned their heads toward me, but I stared resolutely at the sky. My hands clenched,and it was getting harder to breathe.**

**“Doing what?” Chris asked.**

**“You know what.”**

* * *

[Not Fair/ Forgive Myself, 275]

**I was shocked into laughter. Chris grinned at me, obviously pleased with himself.**

**“And no,” Tanner said, “we’re not here because of what Aileen and Patrice said. Or at least not just because of what they said. We’re here because you belong to us just as much as we belong to you. That’s what pack is, Robbie. It’s us being together.** You’re my mate’s son.”

My breath caught and I looked away. 

“I trusted you before and I’m going to trust you now.  **I’m not gonna lie. It’s gonna be hard. I don’t know what’s coming, but I know I’d rather have you by my side than not. And Chris feels the same.”**

* * *

[Save Him/ Life Teeming Wildly, 277]

**“He’s diseased,” Carter said in a horrified whisper. “What’s going on with him? He’s… he’s leaking.”**

**Even Joe looked worried. He pressed a hand against Kelly’s forehead. “He’s warm. Like, really warm.”**

**Ox rolled his eyes.**

Maren looked as though they were trying to hide a smile from where they sat on the chair next to Kelly’s desk. How could they be  _ smiling _ at a time like this? Kelly could be  _ dying _ .

**“Oh my god,” Tanner said, wringing his hands. “Is this some kind of disease? Like the Omega infection? Are you contagious?”**

* * *

[Save Him/ Life Teeming Wildly, 278]

**“I love you,” Carter whispered to Kelly. “More than anything. I wish… I wish we had more time. Please, Kelly. You have to fight this. You have to fight this.”**

**The timber wolf howled, a long and mournful sound.**

And Maren  _ cackled. _

“Oh my god. Lizzie, Mark, we have truly failed these children of ours,” Maren said, almost mournfully. 

“Technically the states of Maine and Oregon school systems have failed them,” Mark said. “It is  _ not _ my fault they’re all idiots.”

**I heard Ox speaking to Elizabeth. “We really just going to let this keep going?”**

**“It got Robbie up and out of his self-imposed exile,” Elizabeth replied. “I don’t feel bad about it at all.”**

* * *

[Save Him/ Life Teeming Wildly, 279]

**“Soup,” I decided. “I saw in a movie once that you need to give soup to sick people. It makes them feel better, especially when it has noodles in it.”**

**“That you can remember?” Gordo asked. He sounded pretty much done with my shit. I wanted to snap at him that at least his mate was only an Omega, but fortunately my drive to stay alive overrode my mouth.**

I’m pretty sure Maren and Gordo would have teamed up to murder me, son or not.

**That and the fact that I was slightly shocked how easy it was for me to think of Kelly as just that.**

**As a mate.**

**I knew what he was.**

**I had his mark on my body.**

**And he had mine. “Why is Robbie sitting there with his mouth open?” Chris whispered to Tanner.**

**“I think he’s coming to a dawning realization,” Tanner whispered back. “Keep watching him.”**

“I’m surrounded by idiots,” Maren mumbled. “Including my own son. No offense.” 

I ignored them, even though the burst of green at being called their son felt nice over the panic of my realization.

**They stared at me.**

**Elizabeth said, “I’m afraid we’re out of soup,” and I swore she was trying to keep from laughing like the others. “I haven’t had a chance to get to the store in a few days. Robbie, perhaps you’d like to—”**

* * *

[Save Him/ Life Teeming Wildly, 287]

**As I descended the stairs, I could hear Rico, Chris, and Tanner bickering in the kitchen.**

Maren was on the stairs, yelling at the men to shut up, ‘I’m on a phone call you assholes’, when I passed by. They smiled at me before returning to yell at their mate and his best friends.

**Jessie was in the backyard with Dominique, setting up the table for Sunday Tradition. Mark, Gordo, Joe, and Ox were in the office on the first floor, door open. They looked up as I passed, but I didn’t stop. Carter and the timber wolf stood in the front of the house, Carter telling the wolf that Kelly wasn’t dying and he didn’t even know why the wolf was worried to begin with. The wolf grumbled in response.**

* * *

[Blood, 305]

**Gordo sighed. “I hear you. I’ve got this. I’m in control.” He brought up the stump at the end of his arm. The tattoos were swirling, crawling over scar tissue. I felt his magic, enormous and untamed. It caused the air around him to stutter, but he took a deep breath, and the symbols carved into his skin stopped moving. “I’m good. You’re with me, so I’m good.”**

**Mark huffed a breath against him before stepping back.**

**Elizabeth** and Maren  **came next, just as a little car pulled into the parking lot. Jessie jumped out, crowbar in hand. “What happened?” she demanded, looking at Ox. Elizabeth rubbed up against her, and Jessie settled a hand on her back. “It’s the wards, isn’t it? I felt that. God, I’ll never get used to it.”**

Maren brushed against Mark’s side, twisting their tail with his, before they huffed at Gordo. He gave them a withering look, rolling his eyes. 

“Yeah yeah yeah. Fuck you too, Maren,” Gordo muttered. “Go bother your mate and your kid.” 

And that they did. They moved from Mark and Gordo to pad in front of Kelly and I, pushing past him, nudging him softly to press against my side. 

In the back of my head I heard a low, low voice that I almost couldn’t hear. 

_ SonSonSonSonSon _

My heart skipped a beat. Even though Maren had been saying them to me for more than a month, those words still hit my heart in a way I didn’t know how to explain. Part of me wondered if those words always had done that to me or if it was a new reaction. 

I leaned into them, breathing them in and I heard their own heart begin to settle, a bright green rushing over them. 

“I’m okay,” I murmured. “We’re all okay.”

They licked my cheek, staring behind me. 

I turned around to see Tanner smiling, his eyes soft. He was surprisingly quiet, although around Maren I noticed he didn’t act nearly... as much like an idiot, if I was being honest. I wondered if it was because he wanted to impress them or if he just knew Maren wouldn’t put up with his shit. I figured it was a mix of both. 

Maren let out a sound that almost sounded like a bark and Tanner snorted before coming over to us, his hands in the pockets of jeans. 

“I just wanted to let you have your moment,” Tanner said, almost sheepishly, rubbing at his wrist. 

Maren growled at him before smacking him with their tail. I thought they’d roll their eyes at him if they’d been able to. 

“Yeah yeah yeah. I know, Mar. We’re all one big happy weird-ass family—“ Maren smacked him with their tail again and this time I laughed. 

“Owwwww. This is spousal violence!” Tanner exclaimed and I saw Gordo roll his eyes as I heard the words,  _ fucking idiot _ , pass through his lips. “Does that count for weird platonic mate partnerships? Hey, Gordo—“

“I’m not going to bother to answer that. I’m just gonna let Mar kick your ass in training again,” Gordo said, his arm around Mark. The larger brown wolf huffed at the interaction and I had a feeling Mark would be laughing if he could.

**Joe came, followed by Carter and the timber wolf.**


	6. Heartsong: Brother to We Survived/ Never Again, page 316 to 339

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! I hope you've enjoyed it thus far!

[Brother, 316]

**Jessie moved in and out of the room, bringing fresh towels and bandages, though it was almost pointless. Gordo stood on the other side of the bed, Mark behind him, his forehead pressed against the back of Gordo’s neck.**

Maren stood at their brother’s side, one hand clasped in his, the other on Gordo’s shoulder, as they kept glancing towards the door, to where Chris and Tanner and Rico stood outside.

**The witch held his hand out over Shannon, lips moving but no sound coming out. His tattoos were vibrant as they shifted, and there was a sheen of sweat on his upper lip. His stump was shaking, and the raven was curling into the roses on his arm.**

* * *

[Brother, 318]

**Kelly squeezed my hand as I stepped toward the bed.**

**“Robbie,” Shannon said again.**

**“I’m here,” I told her as Gordo and Mark stepped back.**

Maren remained though and I let out a sigh of relief as I leaned against them, a kiss planted on the side of my cheek.

**I took their place next to the bed. I knelt on the floor, unsure if I should touch her. That decision was made for me when she lifted her hand toward me. Her grip was stronger than I expected. For a moment I had hope, but her blood was smearing into my skin, and it was a desperately futile thing. “I’m right here.”**

* * *

[Brother, 319]

**Her words were like ghosts dragging their chains as they haunted me. “He’s using the children?”**

**“Yes.”**

I heard Maren gasp and felt their presence from behind me fade as I heard their back thump against the wall behind us, hitting against it. 

“That fucking—“ Maren sounded both breathless and enraged at the same time

Joe shot Maren a look that read  _ stop talking _ and Mark pressed against his twin’s side as the two of them looked at Gordo, his eyes staring at the wall behind Shannon.

She continued as though she hadn’t heard Ren,  **“And I begged for them to stop, I pleaded with them to listen, to just listen, that I could help them, that I could keep them safe, but they didn’t hear me. They couldn’t shift, not all the way. But they had their claws. They had their fangs. Just like Brodie.” She moaned, and it sent a chill down my spine.**

* * *

[Brother, 324]

**“Maybe she won’t answer,” Tanner said, sounding as if that was a fantastic idea. “I’m under the impression that being a dictator hell-bent on wolfy domination is a lot of hard work.”**

Maren rolled their eyes and leaned forward to smack him upside the head. 

He muttered, “Spousal abuse,” and Maren smacked him again, an exasperated look on their face. 

I snorted quietly and they turned to look at me again and smiled, a soft, but not sad smile. 

**“Then we keep trying until we get ahold of her,” Elizabeth muttered as she glared down at the computer.**

* * *

[Brother, 325]

**Elizabeth’s expression tightened. “I know. I want him to. Ready?”**

**No. I wasn’t. I didn’t know if any of us were. We were angry, and it was like a fire spreading between all of us, this burning rage, but it felt like it was growing too big too quickly. I didn’t know how much longer we could control it, or if it would be snuffed out the moment all the air was gone.**

I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked behind me to see Maren, eyes blazing orange.

“I will never let them get their hands on you again,” Maren said with such intensity that somehow—even though I knew it was out of their control–I wanted so badly to believe them. “You’re my son, Robbie, and I know you’re scared but I promise I will do everything in my power to make sure Michelle Hughes and Robert Livingstone never touch you again.”

I grabbed their hand in mine and Maren kissed my forehead. I could feel the blue swirling around them, around the entire pack, but I couldn’t help but feel green as well. I wanted to believe Maren, to believe my entire pack.

**“Hold on,” Ox said, and I exhaled explosively. If we were going to do this, I wanted to get it over with. We looked at Ox. “Chris, Tanner. I want you to leave.” They started to protest, but he held up his hand and they quieted.**

* * *

[Brother, 330]

**“Of what could be?” Livingstone asked. “Oh, my dear. This isn’t going to go how you think. What do you hope to achieve? I expect you’ll storm the compound, your misplaced indignation filling you with justification for your cause. There will be casualties, you’ll all tell yourselves, but it’ll be for the greater good. You’ll wash the blood on your hands away as if it’s nothing, and then the future will be bright and shining as the little prince becomes a king. Is that right? Am I close? Please. Tell me.”**

**“Yes,” Joe said bluntly. “That’s exactly it.”**

“We will burn you to do the ground,” Maren said, their eyes shining a bright Orange. “ _ I’ll _ make sure you burn, Robert Livingstone. For everything, you’ve done. For all the people you’ve hurt. Mark. Carter. Robbie. I’ll make you regret the day you took my son from me.”

And he laughed at that, at Maren’s words, which only infuriated the room further. 

“You will? Little Mari Bennett who couldn’t calm down her mind for a moment without my help? Or did you forget that  _ I’m _ the one who taught you how to shield your own mind?”

I saw Mark clench his fist from the corner of my eye while Maren growled, moving closer to the screen. 

“I’m not the same child who needed your help, Robert, and I’m sure as fuck not a ’she’ either. I’ll make sure you never harm my pack, or anyone else I care about ever again. I swear it, I’ll make you pay for what you’ve done.”

**Livingstone nodded. “As I expected. Foolish, but then you’re animals, so I’m not surprised. You think with fang and claw but neglect to consider that I care not for the fate of wolves. I only want—”**

* * *

[Brother, 331]

**Livingstone’s expression softened. “Or we can finish this now, and all it would take is to give me back what belongs to me. I know mercy. I allowed Alpha Wells to crawl her way to Green Creek to show you just how serious I am and how far I’m willing to go to make sure you understand the importance of what I’m asking of you. This could all be over so easily. No one else will have to suffer. Who is missing from your pack currently? Jessie? Tanner? Chris? Are they reaching out to your little network? You’re going to find some of those calls going unanswered. While you were wrapped up safe and warm in your territory, pretending you haven’t stolen from me, I’ve done my due diligence to make sure I have your undivided attention, and I think you’ll find you’re very much alone.”**

“Enough!” Maren shouted, pushing themselves in front of me as I shook and shook and shook, Kelly’s arms around me the only thing keeping me standing. “You don’t say another word to my son, Livingstone. I swear—“

Livingstone’s laugh cut Maren off. “Do you really think I find your threats intimidating, Maren Bennett? They’re nothing more than empty words. No matter what you do, you’ll never be anything more than the unexpected, unwanted, difficult Bennett child.” 

Maren’s breath hitched and a monsoon of blue crashed over us all. 

Mark’s eyes flashed violet. “You son of a—“

But Ox looked at his second once, silencing him, before he turned back towards the screen.

**“What do you want?” Ox asked.**

**Livingstone smiled. “Ah. Thank you, Alpha Matheson. It’s simple, really. I want Robbie. I’ve grown fond of him.” He took a deep breath. “And I want my son.”**

**Mark snarled as my skin turned to ice. “Fuck you. You’re never going to lay your hands on Gordo ever again. I won’t—”**

* * *

[We Survived/ Never Again, 336]

**Gordo was doing as Gordo did and ignoring everyone and everything, including Mark. I could see the frustration on Mark’s face as he tried to talk to the witch but didn’t get a response. Mark shook his head at me when I tried to approach them, waving me off.**

It didn’t help that Mark was also being ignored by his twin, who’d been silent ever since Livingstone had spoken to them, his words cutting them deep. 

But Maren stood at their brother and Gordo’s side, ignoring both their brother, their mate, and me, as we prepared to watch Shannon Wells’ body burn.

**As for Carter… well. The roles seemed to have reversed. Wherever the wolf went, Carter followed, as if he thought the wolf was going to take off the moment he looked away.**

* * *

[We Survived/ Never Again, 336]

**When the pyre was nothing but smoldering embers, the pack began to drift away in pairs. Jessie and Elizabeth, Carter and the wolf, Ox and Joe, Chris and Tanner.**

Tanner nudged Maren to join them and I watched Maren sigh as Tanner put his arms around them, the three of them heading back towards the house at the end of the lane.

**Kelly looked at me, but I told him I’d meet him back at the house. He glanced at Mark and Gordo on the other edge of the clearing before nodding. He trailed after Rico, looking back at me over his shoulder only once before he disappeared into shadows.**

* * *

[Robbie to Mark POV, We Survived/ Never Again, 339]

**Mark looked at me. “You do, don’t you? Don’t push him, Robbie. It’ll only make him close up more** . I’m going to go try to talk to my brother.”  **He patted me on the shoulder before leaving the clearing for the house.**

To say Mark Bennett was tired would be an understatement. To say it had been a really fucking long day would be an understatement. To say Mark was tired of his brain deciding today was a  _ great day _ to feel like bees were attacking it would also be an understatement.

This had really been a bad day for everything to go to shit, if Mark was being honest. 

All Mark Bennett really wanted was to just go to sleep with his mate by his side and to know that his twin was happy and content. And maybe run through the woods and pretend like his mind wasn’t on fire. 

But he couldn’t do that right now. Because both of the people he cared about the most were hurting and Mark couldn’t stand it. 

It also didn’t help that they were both also ignoring him, because that’s how their stubborn asses dealt with things, but  _ goddamn _ if it wasn’t the most annoying thing in the world.

He loved both of them, but right now, as he walked back to the house at the end of the lane, he was grateful for Robbie’s attempt to talk to Gordo. And he hoped that Tanner had been able to talk to Maren. 

Of course, that hope died the second he came into the house to hear the slamming of a door from upstairs. Mark groaned as the sound of it reverberated in his head. 

“As you can hear, things with the not-lovebirds are going just great—“ Rico started before he cut himself off, staring at Mark. “You okay?”

“I’m fine—“ Mark stopped as he looked at his expression in the mirror, his eyes a deep violet that made him nearly flinch, despite being that way for the past two years. 

He cursed, shutting his eyes and rubbing his hand over his face. 

“You sure about that?” Rico asked. Mark opened his eyes to see Rico’s disbelieving but concerned expression. 

Mark glanced at the mirror to see that his eyes had returned to a bright, icy blue, and let out a sigh of relief. 

“I’m fine,” he said again, although he wasn’t sure if he believed himself. His headache grew stronger. “Is Maren—“

Mark nodded towards the stairs and Rico nodded, although Mark could tell Rico didn’t believe him for a second. 

But he was still grateful when Rico decided not to push him (okay, so maybe he  _ was _ a bit like Gordo and Maren. He blamed them for his stubbornness. It was a learned trait, not a personality trait, he told himself). 

“Tanner tried talking to ‘em. Wanted to know what Livingstone said. Maren told him to not-so-kindly fuck off and well, I think you heard the end of it.”

Mark sighed, glancing at his reflection in the mirror again. Still blue. His head was pounding but his eyes were still blue, so that was better than nothing. 

More than anything right now he wanted to lean on his bonds with Gordo and Maren. But if he did that, they’d realize just how  _ bad _ of a day today was for him. Maren would feel the sharp edge of their bond and he couldn’t do that to them right now, he couldn’t worry them when there was enough to worry about. 

So Mark did what he does best, he focused on Maren and trudged up the steps, attempting to act like everything was fine. 

When he reached the second floor the first thing he saw was Chris standing near the top of the stairs, leaning on the wall, and Tanner sitting against Maren’s closed bedroom door, running his hand through his salt and pepper hair. 

Both of the men looked tired and Mark knew this hadn’t been an easy night for either of them as well. 

Tanner looked relieved when he saw Mark. 

“Maren won’t let me in. And keeps ignoring me. I considered just going in anyway, but I’d rather your twin  _ not _ murder me today. I already survived near-death once, thanks,” Tanner said, and Chris rolled his eyes at his best friend. 

“Watch Maren kick your ass about making that joke,” Chris warned, almost smugly. 

Mark exhaled slowly, unable to keep himself from glaring at the two.

Tanner smiled sheepishly at him while Chris put his hands up in defeat. 

“Can you—“ Tanner started, and Mark nodded. 

As Tanner stood up, Mark was about to knock on Maren’s door, pushing away the thumping in his head, trying to prevent anyone else in the pack from noticing, when Tanner grabbed his arm. 

“Are you okay, man?” Tanner asked, his dark eyes concerned. 

Of course, Tanner had been able to feel it. Mark shouldn’t have been surprised considering Tanner was Maren’s mate, though the younger man usually didn’t comment on Mark’s emotional state.

Mark sighed, closing his eyes and counting to ten before breathing deeply. “It’s been a long day.”

Tanner put a hand on his shoulder and Mark felt a wave of green pass through him. 

“If you wanna go home and rest and shit, we can make sure Mar’s okay,” Chris piped up from where he was leaning. “Eventually we’ll annoy Maren enough for them to let us in.”

Tanner nodded. “They’re just being a—“ he raised his voice. “ _ Stubborn asshole _ !”

Mark couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped his throat and he relished in the calm that washed over his mind. Although his head was still pounding, although he was worried about Gordo and Maren—his two stubborn assholes—he was grateful for Tanner, both Tanner and Chris, for trying to make him feel better. 

But Mark raised his hand on knock on his twin’s door anyway, when the door opened right before he could. 

Mark knew from the moment that Maren opened the door that they were upset, feeling the blue all around them, more intense than the blue that was usually there. But then again, he was pretty sure that Maren knew he was having a rough time too. As soon as they set their eyes on him, they reached out to the bonds they shared—despite the fact that it felt like shards of glass, especially to Maren—to remind him that they were there, that his twin was there just as they had always been. Mark hated how  _ wrong _ their bond felt, but he was also glad that it was there, even if it felt so different than it had for over forty years. 

They wrapped their arms around each other and after a moment, Mark saw Maren lift their hand to flip off Tanner. Chris chuckled. 

“Who do you think you’re calling a stubborn asshole, asshole?” Maren said gruffly, and Mark could feel them glaring at their mate. 

“Gordo,” Tanner said quickly, throwing Mark’s mate under a bus. Mark didn’t blame him. “Definitely Gordo. I was definitely talking about Gordo.”

The twins broke apart and Maren continued to glare at Tanner. Mark and Chris both laughed before Mark sighed in relief, feeling just  _ a bit _ better now that he had one of the most familiar presences in his life with him right now. 

He still hesitated to lean on the pack bonds he shared with Maren, even as Maren leaned on the bonds to comfort him. He knew how much the tattered bonds hurt Maren—especially with their sensory issues—and Mark didn’t want to push them. 

Tanner took Chris by the arm and sneakily started heading towards the stairs. 

“I’m just gonna go now…” Tanner trailed off. “Bye!”

The two of them rushed down the stairs like children and Maren rolled their eyes.

As they were making their way down the stairs, Mark heard Chris mutter to Tanner, “Two stubborn assholes. Poor Mark.”

And he couldn’t stop the deep laugh that escaped him and  _ god _ , it felt nice.

“I heard that!” Maren shouted down the stairs as Mark just laughed louder. “Watch yourself, Alexander!”

“Assholes,” Maren muttered, although he could hear the affection in his twin’s voice before grabbing Mark by the hand and pulling him into their room. 

“Takes one to know one,” he tried to snark back, but it was half-hearted as he felt a wave of exhaustion wash over him. Today truly had been  _ too long _ . 

Mark shut the door behind him as Maren walked over to their bed that sat in the center of the room. Slowly, Mark made his way to the empty side, sighing in relief when he hit the fleece comforter. 

“Why didn’t you tell anyone it was a bad day?” Maren asked him. Although his eyes were focused on the ceiling, he could feel the intensity of his twin’s gaze. 

“‘s not  _ that _ bad of a day,” Mark mumbled and he could feel them roll their eyes at him, the same eyes that matched his own.

“Goddamn martyr,” Maren muttered at the same time that Mark said, “Besides, I came to check on  _ you _ .”

Maren was silent as they moved closer to Mark and he sighed, leaning his head on his twin’s shoulder. 

“I don’t wanna talk about it, Mark.”

He ran a hand through his twin’s hair and he felt a curtain of green wash over each of them, the green that they both desperately needed. 

The twins laid there silently for what could have been minutes or hours, Mark wasn’t sure. All he was sure of was that his mind seemed to calm down with his twin next to him and that he could feel that Gordo was less aggregated as well, which Mark guessed was Robbie’s doing. God, had he missed the young man and his reassuring presence. 

“I’m not going to let him hurt you again,” Maren said suddenly and Mark must have looked confused because Maren clarified. “Robert. I’m not going to let him hurt any of us. Not again. We’re gonna kill him and you and Carter and the timber wolf—Gavin—“ Maren said his name with such intensity, like they were trying to commit his name to memory, that Mark was a little surprised, “are going to be Beta’s again. And Robbie will be fine. And we’ll beat this.”

And although Maren tried to sound strong, to sound fearless, like nothing in the world could bother them, Mark could also hear their fear, fear for him, for Robbie, for Carter and Gavin, fear that maybe they weren’t strong enough to protect everyone. And goddamn, did Mark Bennett want to rip Robert Livingstone’s throat out for that last fear alone. Because his twin, his brother, his sibling, was one of the strongest people he knew—and he said as much. 

He glared at Maren when they snorted in disbelief. 

“You’ve been through a lot of shit—“ Mark started. 

“We’ve  _ all _ been through a lot of shit,” Maren shot back. 

“Yeah,  _ we _ fucking have,” Mark argued as he felt a flash of irritation run through him. God, he really didn’t wanna argue with Maren right now, but he needed them to  _ get _ what he was trying to say. 

He felt his eyes flash and he cursed as Maren flinched, turning their body to look at the wall rather than at him as their breathing hitched. The two of them laid in awkward silence before Maren spoke again. 

“I hate him. I hate Robert Livingstone for everything he’s done. But I especially hate him for this,” Maren said, and Mark couldn’t agree more. 

He hated this too. He hated being an Omega and having his bonds with the rest of his pack feel  _ wrong _ . He hated that the connection with his twin felt like it was strung together with shards of glass. He hated the look on his face when Gordo, when Maren, when any of the pack saw his violet eyes instead of orange. He hated that all he could say was, “I know,” and “me too” and “I love you. Always.” 

He leaned against Maren’s back, his eyes closed, as he felt them move again, causing his head to fall onto his twin’s chest. He didn’t mind. 

“I love you too. But just… stop talking, Mark,” Maren said and they sounded as exhausted as he did. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I just want to lay here with you and forget that everything is shit, okay?”

Mark sighed, giving in to Maren for now. 

“Fine,” he said almost stubbornly, too tired to argue anymore. 

This conversation wasn’t over, but Mark decided to let it go for now. Even if Maren didn’t see their own strength, Mark would just have to see it for them. 

But then again, that’s how they worked, wasn’t it? They always saw strength in the other, even when they didn’t see it in themselves. 


	7. Heartsong: We Survived/ Never Again to Brother, pages 344 to 442

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnnd that's all for Heartsong stuff. I know this was A LOT of pain, so I hope I didn't hurt yall too much... 
> 
> The Feralsong scenes will be up in this fic later this month or early next month, so stay tuned for more! 
> 
> Thanks for sticking around and reading all this! As always, thanks to my betas, Sarah and Gigi!

[We Survived/ Never Again, 344]

**“So could I,” Jessie said. “Are you going to tell me to stay behind?”**

**“That’s not—”**

**“Me too,” Rico chimed in. “Go ahead, alfas. Say it to my face. Say, ‘Rico, you handsome devil, you’re staying right here in Green Creek while the rest of us ride off to kick some ass.’ Say it. I dare you.”**

“Separating the pack is a bad idea,” Maren told their nephew. “We’re better together than we are apart. We fight together and we protect each other. We’re Bennett’s. It’s what we do.”

“I’m not sure if it’s a good idea if you come either,” Joe said, not meeting Maren’s eyes. 

“Excuse me?” Maren said, sounding offended. At least they seemed more annoyed than upset. “Give me one good reason—“

“Livingstone taught you how to shield right?” Joe asked. 

“What does that have to do with anything?” Maren’s voice was cold, as if they were trying to keep from showing they were upset. 

”What if Livingstone destroys your shield?” 

He still refused to meet his uncle’s eyes, but his voice was clear of hesitation. It was something he’d obviously been thinking about. 

Maren growled and Tanner put a hand on their mate’s wrist, rubbing circles over their mating bite. 

“That’s not going to happen,” Mark said. He was sure of himself, confident, and Joe sighed, looking frustrated. 

“You can’t be  _ sure _ of that,” Joe said. 

“We can’t be sure of anything,” Tanner said, shrugging his shoulders, brushing up against Maren who sighed when he did that. “But that’s kinda par for the course these days.”

**Joe threw up his hands. “I’m not trying to piss anyone off. But Kelly can’t—”**

* * *

[We Survived/ Never Again, 345]

**“That won’t matter if he gets to you again,” Joe argued. “Kelly, I love you so goddamn much. All of you. I don’t want to risk losing you. I can’t. What if Livingstone does get to Robbie? What if he forces him to turn on you? What do you think that would do to him?** What if he breaks Maren’s shield? We can’t risk any of those things happening.”

“I can take care of myself, thank you very much, Joseph!” Maren said hotly and I saw Joe look like he wanted to snap at his uncle before he let out a ragged sigh.

**“Everything is a risk,” Elizabeth said quietly. “All that we do. And yet we do it anyway, knowing it’s for the greater good.”**

* * *

[We Survived/ Never Again, 350]

**Gordo, on his third beer, seemed loose and easy when he said he never would have expected that he’d actually like having wolves around again. He had a goofy grin on his face, and he laughed without reservation when Mark tugged him close, his nose in Gordo’s hair, beard scratching Gordo’s cheek.**

Maren told the story of how Carter, Kelly, and Joe used to fight over being Maren’s favorite when they were younger. When Carter claimed that he ended up winning in the end, Maren raised their eyebrows and looked at Gavin, saying he was their actual favorite. His outrage was hilarious as the timber wolf curled up against Maren’s side, licking their cheek.

**Carter spoke of seeing Joe for the first time after he was born, and how he told his mother he didn’t think something so small and wrinkled and loud could ever be an Alpha. I didn’t think he realized that his hand never left the timber wolf’s head, rubbing between his ears.**

* * *

[We Survived/ Never Again, 356]

**Gordo stood, Mark’s fingers trailing along the raven in the roses on his arm. He stepped over the others until he stood before us. His gaze searched my face. And then he grinned, and my god, it was blinding. “Good to see you, kid,” he said. “Missing something, though.” He reached up, and I didn’t even flinch when he carefully put my glasses on. He tweaked the tip of my nose before stepping back. “There. That’s better. You look ridiculous with those on.”**

Maren pressed their lips to my cheek, wrapping their arms around me. God, I loved feeling the green that came from them. “I missed that look, little wolf,” and for a second I could close my eyes and pretend my mother was here.

**Something settled within me, and it was warm.**

**We all turned toward the front of the house a moment later at the sound of an engine coming down the road.**

**Many engines.**

* * *

[Until the End/ Sharp Sting, 360]

**Jessie looked confused. “Hey, I thought we already said goodbye.”**

**“We did,” Dominique said, eyes flashing violet. “But I need to do something before you leave.”**

**And then she kissed Jessie.**

**“Whoa,” Tanner said. “That is… huh.”**

“Don’t you  _ dare _ say what I think you’re gonna say,” Maren hissed at their mate. “Don’t even  _ think  _ about it, Tanner Reeves.”

**“That’s my sister,” Chris growled at him, elbowing Tanner in the stomach. “Stop staring!”**

* * *

[Until the End/ Sharp Sting, 363]

**I shook my head. “But we have to save as many of them as we can. Those kids, Ox. We can’t hurt the kids. No matter what. They don’t deserve this. And he will use that against us. He knows we’re coming. This isn’t like Green Creek. This isn’t our territory. It’s his.”**

I looked at Maren—at my  _ Ren _ —from the rearview mirror and they sighed. 

“We have to try,” they said. Their eyes were tired, but intense. “We have to at least try,”

**Gordo sighed as he sat back in his seat. “Maybe we’ll get lucky and they’ll just give up.”**

**“Yeah,” Mark said. “Maybe.”**

* * *

[Chaos, 365]

**“They should be here, right?” Gordo asked. I nodded. “We should have run into them a mile back.”**

“They want us to come,” Maren said. “This is a trap.” I hated that they were probably right.

**Patrice muttered under his breath in a foreign tongue, fingers twitching, eyes oddly vacant. There was a soft burst of color in the air in front of him that faded as quickly as it’d appeared. He said, “Dey were here. Dey’ve been dismantled.”**

* * *

[Chaos, 365]

**A great black wolf landed in front of Jessie, eyes a mix of red and violet. He roared at the boy so loudly that one of the windows in the movie theater shook and cracked. The boy skidded on the road, feet tearing and leaving bloody streaks behind him. He jerked back, mouth hung open.**

I looked over to Maren and saw them just... standing there, trembling and watching, as they bated children away cautiously, as though they were terrified. 

But I knew they weren’t terrified for themselves. They were terrified for the children. They hadn’t been expecting this.  _ We _ hadn’t been expecting this. And maybe we should have been. 

After a moment, Maren just froze, not shifting, barely in half shift, when one of the children came for Maren’s neck. Tanner grabbed Maren and the timber wolf grabbed the child by the scruff, tossing him away. 

“You need to shift,” Tanner said. And I’m pretty sure this was the most serious I’d ever heard him sound. “Right. Now.”

But Ren was still trembling, frozen. The timber wolf  _ howled _ at them and Maren was startled. Finally, they registered Tanner’s words and the dark-haired Bennett was a brown wolf once more. 

“Thank you, Gavin,” I heard Tanner murmur to the timber wolf before my attention was dragged away from them.

**Aileen stepped forward, reaching into a pouch that hung on her hip. She pulled out a bluish powder and muttered into it. It flared like gunpowder, and she threw it at the boy, sparks dropping onto the ground with a hiss.**

* * *

[Chaos, 369]

**Elizabeth paced around them, growling low in her throat. Carter was licking at the blood on the timber wolf’s back.**

Maren stood with Mark, the brown wolves pressed against each other, their tails wrapped around each other as Tanner and Chris circled around them.

**Aileen stood slowly, hands curled into fists. “Alphas, if we’re going to do this, we have to do it now.”**

* * *

[Chaos, 371]

**I cried out as I stumbled backward. Kelly caught me around my bare waist, saying, “Robbie, Robbie, Robbie, listen to me, listen to me,” but all I could see was Sonari, her finger jerking, her mouth opening and closing over and over and over.**

I felt a wolf—Ren—press against me, a growl low in their throat, words, maybe their words, in my head, but I couldn’t make myself focus on them.

**Gordo pushed by us, tattoos flaring brightly. Mark was there too, still a wolf, pressed against his side.**

* * *

[Chaos, 378]

**Michelle’s gaze crawled dismissively over the rest of us until it fell upon Kelly. I stepped forward, but it wasn’t enough. “And you. Kelly Bennett. This is because of you. You just couldn’t let him go. You just couldn’t let things be.”**

A large brown wolf stood in front of me and growled at Michelle’s words. I could feel the red coming off Ren in waves and by the way Michelle looked at them, she did as well. 

In the back of my head, the very back of my mind, I heard a faint  _ Mine  _ and _ Mine  _ and  _ My Son _ and I swallowed hard.

**“You stole from me,” Kelly said coldly. “And I’m going to make sure you never touch him again.”**

* * *

[Chaos, 380]

**Gordo’s tattoos were as bright as I’d ever seen them as Mark charged Dale. For a moment, I thought he’d get there and tear out his throat, but Dale raised his head, eyes wide. Mark stopped in his tracks with a surprised whine before he rose off the ground, levitating a few feet in the air. His body contorted painfully before he slammed into the side of a house, the siding cracking before giving way.**

Maren bolted away from me, from Dale and Gordo, after their twin, their concern for Mark outweighing their need to see Dale dead.

**“Oh,” Gordo breathed, “you should not have done that.”**

* * *

[Chaos, 382]

**I nodded. “I know. But we don’t have a choice. We can’t let him have them. We can’t let him win.”**

**“Shit,” Rico groaned. He turned his face toward the sky and inhaled deeply. “Well. We were fucking crazy to come here in the first place.** And Maren would fucking kill me if I let the two of you go alone. But then again, they’re probably gonna kill me for coming with you, so it’s a lose-lose situation anyway.  **What’s another bad decision or two?”**

**And then this man, this ridiculously wonderful human, howled at the sky, the cords in his neck standing out.**

* * *

[Chaos, 385]

**Quiet as a mouse no longer.**

**It started in my chest. This great bloom of fire.**

**It consumed me, and I burned with it as these strings so much like tethers exploded out from me. They struck Rico first, and I heard** ** _lobito lobito lobito_** **, and then they moved on to Kelly, and it was** ** _i love you i love you i love you_** **,** and then it was Maren and I heard, _you are my son. You are my son and you are home and I will protect you_ **and it went on and on and on until there was Jessie and Elizabeth, Chris and Tanner, Gordo and Mark, Carter and the timber wolf, faint though it was, and then, oh, and then it was the Alphas, their voices bright and strong, and I heard them all.**

* * *

[Beast, 392]

**Mark tackled Gordo just as Dale hurled the boulder at them. It smashed into the ground where Gordo had been standing. Even before Gordo stopped rolling, Mark was up and moving, eyes violet as he charged toward Dale.**

Maren charged from the other side, but Mark was faster, always faster.

**I thought he was going to make it, going to tear his fucking head off, when Dale’s fingers twitched. The ground underneath Mark’s paws seemed to bend upward before it exploded in a grinding flash of dirt and rock. Mark was thrown to the side, yelping as he landed wrong, his front right leg breaking. My stomach twisted as I saw the shiny wet knob of bone jutting out at the knee.**

Maren howled, a cry filled with anger and despair as they pressed against their injured twin. They whined, unable to lick the bleeding wound due to the Omega infection that raged within Mark, and their eyes flashed a bright orange as they began to charge towards Dale. 

But Gordo beat them there.

**The sky above seemed to grow dark as Gordo rose to his feet. He reached up with his only hand and wiped the blood from his mouth, flicking it to the ground.**

* * *

[Beast, 398]

**“Carter,” Kelly said, pulling away from me. He turned and ran toward his brother, who had just sat up, head in his hands. Carter barely had time to brace himself before Kelly tackled him back onto the ground. Carter grinned up at him as his eyes filled with the same orange as the rest of the Betas. They laughed and clutched at each other, Kelly babbling that he was going to murder Carter if he ever did something like that again.**

At the same time, Maren shifted and pulled Mark into their arms, steady tears already streaming down their face. They let out a breath that that had seemed to be holding for years. 

“I can feel you. I can feel you. I can feel you and it doesn’t  _ hurt _ ,” Maren said. Their voice broke when they said it. It sounded like a mantra. It sounded like a prayer. And I’d wondered if Ren had ever felt so green in their life because I had certainly never felt so much green come off them before. 

They held Mark tightly and I thought a saw a tear fall down his cheek as he kissed his twin’s forehead. 

Maren flashed their eyes at him, a bright orange, and they sobbed when Mark did the same, his eyes matching Maren’s. 

Maren fell into their brother’s shoulder and he held them, cupping Ren’s head with his hand. 

Maren grabbed Gordo’s hand then, pulling him into the embrace and I heard him mutter something that sounded like, “fucking crywolves,” before Mark leaned over to kiss him, shutting him up.

**It was Elizabeth who figured out what the rest had missed. “Robbie?” she asked.**

**I looked toward her.**

* * *

[Beast, 400]

**They were no match for Livingstone. He knocked them away easily. Chris and Tanner landed on the ground near a burning house. Rico flew out onto the lake, sliding along the ice.**

**I had to end this.**

**I had to stop him before he hurt anyone else.**

**I ran toward him, claws popping.**

“Don’t you dare!” Maren shouted at me, but I ignored them.

**“Robbie, no!” Gordo cried, but it was too late.**

**I would do this for him.**

* * *

[Beast, 401]

**“Leave,” Gavin grunted. His face twisted like he was struggling to form words. “With you. I’ll. Go. With you. Don’t. Don’t touch. Them.”**

“Gavin, no!” Maren shouted, moving as though they’d move forward but I held them back.

**Livingstone craned his neck toward his son. “Leeeaave?”**

**“Yes,” Gavin said. “Us. We go.”**

* * *

[Beast, 403]

**Brodie’s face crumpled as he collapsed into Ox, sobbing against his chest.**

I saw Maren turn away the children, a heartbroken expression on their face, when Tanner put his arms around them.

**Elizabeth led Carter away from the rest of us, his head bowed, hands in fists at his sides.**

**Kelly watched them leave.**

* * *

[Heartsong, 409]

**Carter had nearly bitten Kelly’s head off when he said as much. I heard the anger in his voice when he snapped that Gavin had made his choice, and he didn’t give a fuck about it.**

Maren had just shaken their head when I’d asked them about Carter. He’s barely talked to them either the entire time Maren had stayed in Caswell and they were at a loss at how to help him. I knew how much it hurt them to be unable to do anything to help him—and how much Gavin leaving had hurt them too, although they acted like they didn’t.

**Elizabeth said Carter spent a lot of time alone in the refuge outside Caswell. I hoped he was finding peace in the trees like I had.**

* * *

[Heartsong, 416]

**Elizabeth nosed Carter as Kelly yipped, tugging on his tail. I thought he was going to snap at the both of them, but he sagged, giving in. He howled, and it was tinged with blue, though he began to chase after his brother.**

Maren not too far after them, leaving the area with Tanner and Chris and Rico to chase after their nephews, as if they were children again.

**“We’re not whole,” I said. “Not yet.”**

**“Gavin.” I looked at Patrice. “He’s part of this.”**

* * *

[Heartsong, 420]

**_I am standing on the porch of the house, and there are people coming, people I don’t know, and Ox is there, he’s saying be ready, be ready, and Elizabeth’s eyes are more alive than I’ve ever known them to be, and Mark is frowning,_** _and Ren is at my side, telling me it’ll be fine but I can tell they’re on edge,_ ** _and Rico and Chris and Tanner are moving side to side, nervous, unsure of what’s happening, what’s coming for us._**

* * *

[Heartsong, 423]

_ I’m on my break in the garage one day and a guitar is tossed at me. I nearly dropped it but in the end, I caught it. I look up to see Maren— Ren— staring at me, a grin on their face.  _

_ “Wha—“ _

_ “I’m gonna teach you how to play,” they say, as if playing the guitar is as simple as breathing.  _

_ “Right now?” I ask, raising my eyebrows. They nod and I feel green surround them. It’s a nice feeling and I feel it overtaking me as well. I wonder if Kelly likes the guitar, if he’d like to hear me play.  _

_ So that’s what we do for the next few hours, even when Gordo grumbles that he’s not paying me to learn how to play a guitar, what the fuck Maren?  _

_ And by the end of the day, the two of us are so engrossed in the guitar, in the music I’m learning to play, we don’t even notice Tanner take a picture of the two of us. _

* * *

[Heartsong, 427]

**_But others have taken his place._ **

**_All of them. Here. With me._ **

**_Gordo says, “Kid, it’s time.”_ **

**_Elizabeth says, “We’ve got you.”_ **

_ Maren says, “You’re my son, you can do this, Robbie.” _

**_Jessie says, “We’re here for you.”_ **

**_Rico says, “Until the end.”_ **

* * *

[Heartsong, 435]

**A hand pressed against my leg. Another wrapped around my ankle. There was a kiss against the back of my neck and the scrape of fingernails against my side. Chris and Tanner shoved Ox out of the way and lay on the other side of me, wrapping themselves around me from behind, clutching me tightly. They whispered words of hope, of love and peace. I took everything they said and filled the emptiness of the void until it overflowed.**

I feel Maren press a kiss on my forehead and I hear them mumble,  _ it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay _ , and  _ I’ll never let anyone hurt you again, I promise, I promise, I promise _ . 

And my heart tries not to break at the fact that I had broken my promise to them, my promise that I would never leave them.

**And in the middle of it all, bright as the sun, was a tangle of threads. Of bonds that stretched between us all, stronger than they’d ever been. They whispered** **_packpackpack._ **

* * *

[Break, 439]

**Elizabeth Bennett stood in front of her husband’s old desk, hand over her mouth, eyes wet. In her other hand was a piece of paper. She looked up at us as Joe roared and punched a hole in the wall. Mark was looking off into nothing, his mouth in a thin line.**

Maren was by the side of the door, their face expressionless, but I could feel the blue, their blue washing over the room, mixing with everyone else’s. Their eyes were closed as they breathed in and out and I could tell they were trying very hard not to lose their shit.

**“What is it?” Kelly demanded. “Where’s Carter, why can’t I feel him, what happened, what happened, what—”**

* * *

[Break, 440]

**_You are my soul._ **

**_I love Mom. She taught me kindness._ **

**_I love Dad. He taught me how to be a good wolf._ **

_ I love Mark. He showed me what a good brother is.  _

_ I love Mar. They taught me it’s okay not to be okay sometimes. _

**_I love Joe. He taught me that strength comes from within._ **

* * *

[Break, 441]

**_I love you, little brother, even more than I can put down in words. You’ve got to be brave for me. Keep Joe honest. Give Ox shit. Teach Rico how to be a wolf. Show Chris and Tanner the depths of your heart. Hug Mom and Mark._ ** _ Don’t let Maren spend too much time alone.  _ **_Tell Gordo to lighten up. Have Jessie kick anyone’s ass who steps out of line._ **

* * *

[Break, 441]

**The video ended, Carter’s face frozen on the screen. No one spoke. Eventually Kelly turned toward us, and for a moment, I was reminded of his brother standing in the ruins of the compound like a lost little boy, asking why, why, why did he go, why did he have to leave?**

I felt a burst of anger from the side of the room as Maren punched a hole in the wall behind them. I heard them curse as I heard their hand broke, but Mark was beside them in an instant.

**I felt cleaved in two.**

**Kelly walked by us without speaking.**

**The others parted.**

**I followed him.**

* * *

[Tanner POV, One week Post Chapter: Break]

It was early Saturday afternoon when Tanner Reeves made his way over from the house he shared with his cat to the house at the end of the lane. Maren had planned to play some new music they and their music partner, Hal, had been periodically working on before the kid went on his tour for his new album. 

So when he headed up the stairs of the house (after poking his head into the kitchen to say hi to his Alphas and Elizabeth of course, his mother raised him to be respectful, after all. His mother never would have thought of respect being towards two werewolf Alphas and their mom, but you know, times change. He tried to ignore the pang in his chest at the missing man and his timber wolf though), he didn’t expect to hear curses coming from his mate’s studio. 

“Son of a bitch!” Tanner heard his mate screech. “God fucking—“ 

He heard the sound of glass breaking, of something heavy falling, of wood cracking, and his mate cursed up a storm again. 

He felt panic rush through his veins, his own panic, as he felt the waves of intense anger pass through the mating bond he shared with the younger Bennett twin. He followed the scent he knew like the back of his hand, like paper and cinnamon mixed together in a storm—and a storm was what Maren felt like right now. Their anger was overpowering—but not strong enough to war with the ocean of blue that ate at their heart and mind. 

Joe was at the bottom of the stairs, his eyes flashing red. 

“What’s going on?” Joe called from below, looking as though he was about to charge up the stairs himself. Tanner didn’t think that would be the best idea considering Joe... wasn’t the best at calming people down, particularly not his uncle. 

“I got this,” Tanner said, doing his best to push down his own worry, focusing on staying  _ calm _ . “Trust me.”

“Tann—“Joe started, and as Tanner opened the door to Maren’s studio he heard Ox’s rough, low voice tell his mate, “They’re his mate. We’ll be here if they need us.” In his mind’s eye, he saw the young man’s hand on the others shoulder or maybe pushing Joe into his arms, trying to reassure the other Alpha. 

The reality in front of Tanner was anything but reassuring. There was glass shattered on the floor, the sun from the window hitting the shards on the carpet. One of the guitars that Maren kept on the wall had fallen and cracked, pieces of wood scattered amongst the glass. 

Maren must have cut their hand on either the broken glass or wood because Tanner could smell the blood that had fallen onto the floor, even though any injuries Maren had must have healed by now, the smell fading more and more by the second. 

But what concerned Tanner most was the fury in his mate’s eyes as they knelt on the floor, holding the damaged guitar in their hand and—oh fuck. That was the guitar that Carter had given Maren to replace the one he’d broken. Tanner knew it meant a lot to them, not just because it was from Carter, but also because it had the colors of the trans flag on it. He remembered how  _ happy _ Maren had looked, how  _ proud _ Carter seemed to have thought of such a thing. He tried not to let a wave of blue overcome him.

“Fuck!” they shouted again, and Tanner’s heart broke at how upset Maren looked—and how much of a mess their mind was right now. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Tanner said, and slowly, carefully, he approached Maren. 

He moved to the ground to put his arms around them and they nearly fell into his chest. He tried not to seem startled at Maren; this wasn’t the first time he’d helped them after a meltdown but it was the first time in a few months, certainly since before Robbie returned, that something like this had happened. 

Tanner pushed the fleeting thoughts of  _ I can’t handle this, I’m not equipped to handle this, _ as Maren let the damaged guitar fall to the ground and sobbed. He held them tightly as hot, angry tears fell down his mate’s cheeks, soaking his shirt. He wanted to ask what had upset them like this, but considering that Maren had recently punched a wall, Tanner had a feeling it had something to do with Carter. 

Part of him really hated Carter Bennett right now. When Tanner remembered how the bonds had shattered when Carter broke them, when he remembered Kelly’s screams for him to come back, the sounds of both Joe and Maren punching walls in the office, the sight of Maren with glass and wood around them right now, he really so  _ angry _ with the younger man. 

But Tanner also remembered the first time he met Carter, a sixteen-year-old kid who (he’d later learn) went after Maren after they and Thomas had gotten into a fight. The kid who looked at him and Maren asked if he and Maren were friends and when Tanner wasn’t sure how to answer, Maren had surprised him with their yes, even if they did say it like it was a question. The man who could make anyone laugh–even in the worst of moments. The man who’d usually be the first to run to Maren after a nightmare–not just because his room was closest but because he loved them  _ that much _ . The man who loved the timber wolf even though he hadn’t realized it until it was nearly too late. 

So Tanner couldn’t hate the younger man, not really. Because he would do the same thing to find Maren if he had to. He hadn’t known how Ox and Joe, much less Mark and Gordo had been able to be without each other as long as they had, but Tanner didn’t think he would be able to do the same and he was grateful that Maren had stayed in Caswell with him all those months ago. 

Tanner was about to open to ask if his suspicions were correct when he heard the front door downstairs slam open and the pounding of feet on the stairs. Within what seemed to be another heartbeat, Mark Bennett was standing in the doorway of Maren’s studio.

His mate’s twin was breathing heavily, completely out of breath. His eyes were a bright orange and the worry that came from the man was nearly as intense as Maren’s own emotions. Tanner closed his eyes for a moment, breathing deeply, to focus on himself and his emotions to prevent himself from being overwhelmed by the Bennett twins.

It hit Tanner than that this was probably the first time Mark had felt Maren’s emotions so intensely since before he became an Omega. No wonder he was so concerned.

“What happened?” Mark questioned, asking the question Tanner himself had been wondering, before kneeling down beside him and Maren. He looked as though he was going to reach out to touch Maren but instead took the damaged guitar in his hand, frowning.

Maren shifted their position and wiped some of the tears off their cheeks, before answering their brother, their voice low and rough. “It’s gone,” Maren said, staring at their twin. “The pick, the guitar pick, Mark.”

Tanner had no idea what they were talking about, but Mark did, as he sighed, looking over to Maren’s desk. 

“I don’t–” Tanner started.

“One of the first guitar picks I made for Maren has a compass on it,” explained Mark. “A compass–”

“To always guide you home,” finished Maren. “I gave it to Carter when he went off to college. And he took it when he and the boys and Gordo went after Richard.”

Tanner understood what had happened now. “And he took it this time too,” Tanner said. “Didn’t he?”

A sob broke out of Maren’s chest, almost against the fire of anger that ran through them, and Mark leaned over to run his hand his twin’s hair, closing his eyes as a bitter blue washed over the room.

Maren nodded and Tanner let out a sigh of relief. 

“That’s a good thing though,” said Tanner. He looked over to Mark. “Right?”

“It is,” Mark confirmed, as he looked at the wreckage in the room. “It led him home before, it’ll lead him home again.”

“Both of them,” Maren choked out, their voice low and full of tears. “It’ll lead both of them home.” 

And that was all that could be said. 


	8. Feralsong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! It's here! Shout out to Past! Sam for writing this like 4 months ago and saving it until the Klunatics Podcast episode for fanfiction (which I'm featured on). Thank you to Gigi and Sarah for beta reading! Bold, of course, is TJ's words.

[Feralsong, Kelly]

**“I’m here,” he whispers. “I promise.” He rubs Carter’s back, something their mother used to do to them when they were younger.**

He runs his hand through Carter’s hair, something Maren used to do to them when they were younger. 

**He doesn’t know if it’s helping, but he doesn’t know what else to do.**

* * *

**Kelly pulls the comforter up to his chest, brushing a lock of hair off Carter’s forehead. He wishes Joe was here. Joe, the boy who would be king. He’s in Caswell, doing what only he can do. They need their Alpha. Ox could do in a pinch, but it’s not the same.**

He thinks about staying here with Carter when he sees his uncle standing in the doorway, Maren’s dark hair messy as though they’d been laying down although Kelly doubts they’d been asleep. 

Maren walks towards them and for a moment Kelly thinks he sees his father. He doesn’t know how that makes him feel, Maren and Thomas being polar opposites in all but looks. 

Maren sits on the side of Carter’s bed and frowns, and Kelly knows that Maren can smell the scent of the timber wolf as well, as they bite their lip before running their fingers through Carter’s hair. 

“Go get some sleep, Kelly,” Maren said softly. “I’ll stay with him for a while.”

Kelly almost argues, but he sees the way Maren looks down at Carter, the same way their mother looks at him and his brothers, the same way Maren looks at Robbie, and he sighs instead. Carter had always elicited that look from their uncle, even when Kelly and Joe didn’t, although it had been years since Kelly had been bothered about that. 

“What about you?” he says instead. “Aren’t you gonna get any sleep?”

“Sleep?” says Maren, looking up from Carter’s sleeping form. “I’m afraid I’ve never met her. Is she nice? Tell her hi for me when you and Robbie _go to sleep._ ”

Despite Maren’s jests, he can feel the undercurrent of blue and he tries not to fall into their ocean, the blue in his own chest enough to make him want to cry. So he nods and lets Maren kiss him on the cheek. 

**He leaves the bedroom door open a crack before wandering down the hall where Robbie sleeps in their bed.**

* * *

**And for a long while, he’d stood alone in his belief.**

**The others had come around, eventually.**

Though Kelly thought about Maren in Carter’s room; Maren who had given up on Robbie, _their son_ , when they had learned Robbie was in Maine and his chest ached with anger. 

**Kelly wasn’t sure if he’d forgiven them [all] for that yet or not. It felt too big, too soon.**

* * *

[Feralsong, Joe]

**He’s the Alpha. He must stay in control.**

**Dad taught him that.**

He holds his uncle when Maren collapses into his arms as Mark turns feral, the bond that the older Beta had always had becoming more and more corrupted by the second. It’s the first time in a long while that the two of them had been this close. He doesn’t know whose fault that is, his or Maren’s. 

**He watches as Kelly sobs as Carter turns feral, and he’s surprised when Kelly doesn’t want Mom, doesn’t want Robbie, doesn’t want Ox.**

**He wants Joe.**

* * *

**As Carter’s video ends, as Kelly bursts outside, howling and screaming for their brother** , as their uncle punches a hole through the wall like Joe did when he felt the bonds break, **Joe wonders if they’ll ever have peace, if they’ll ever be happy, or if it will always be something wanting to take and take and take.**

* * *

[Feralsong, Gavin]

There’s finally music coming from the room across from Stupid Carter’s. For months now, the studio door remained closed, only the bedroom next to Stupid Carter’s opened. But for the first time, there is music coming from the room again. 

The person, who is not a man but not a woman either, is playing a melody coming from the computer screen on the desk in front of them. The wolf doesn’t know it, he doesn’t think he’s heard it before, but he likes it. 

The musician doesn’t seem to mind when he moves closer to the screen, they won’t mind him in their studio at all until _Stupid Carter_ is the one to break one of their instruments.

“Do you like it?” they ask him, as though they expect an answer. 

He does. That’s why he came closer after all. 

“This is Carter’s song,” they say. “I made one for each of the boys when they were little. I was finishing Robbie’s when—“

The wolf feels a rush of blue fall over the room, over the Beta’s face, as they clear their throat.

He whines at the feeling of it. He doesn’t like that they’re sad because Stupid Carter doesn’t like it when they’re sad. And even though the musician takes too much of Stupid Carter’s attention, he likes them. Because they make Stupid Carter feel nice and that makes the wolf feel nice. 

He settles near the musician’s feet and _definitely_ doesn’t feel green when they run their fingers through his fur as the music continues to play around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading all this! I hope to finish Wolfsong! Maren stuff before Brothersong comes out, but we will see!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic of] Can't Erase You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23304937) by [Flowerparrish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flowerparrish/pseuds/Flowerparrish)




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